DIGGIN' ON YOU :: ZAYN✔️[𝗘𝗗𝗜𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗚]

-emotional

SHMONEY

"Still five feet and seven inches, I see," the doctor wrote down on his clipboard before moving to the scale, "weight please."

Sari was not ready for this, she swore she wasn't. For the past month she had been in the gym and eating right -- except on the few cheat days she had -- keeping up a balanced diet and a very balanced sex life. She felt like she was losing all the weight but she never checked the scale because sometimes it was distracting and a little too discouraging.

So she always waited for her bimonthly visits with the doctor. He was annoying but he gave great advice she took in the past to bring her weight down.

Sari stepped on the scale and closed her eyes, standing still and crossing her fingers.

"Good job," he praised, "you've managed to lose enough weight."

Sari ignored his last comment and opened her eyes to see.

God.

She lost twenty two pounds.

"Two twenty four," he spoke aloud and wrote it down, "just thirty more and you won't be classified as overweight, but I doubt you care about that."

"I'm 'bout to fold yo' shit, nigga," she mumbled and stopped off, putting her shoes on.

"What was that?"

"Nothing, Dr. Matthews," she smiled at him, "I'll see you in a few months."

"Alright, and take the advice I gave you in my office," he said, "it goes a long way, Cesaria."

"Thanks," she wasn't taking any of his stupid advice. He had suggested she become a vegetarian -- this advice was terrible -- to lose weight, but honestly, how was being a vegetarian going to stop her from eating Hot Cheetohs?

Sari walked to the front desk and fished out her credit card, giving it to the woman so she could pay for the appointment. Her insurance didn't cover it all, but she'd take a twenty five dollar co-pay over anything.

The receptionist went over to a register and swiped the card, muttering something along the lines of "it didn't go through" but not mentioning it to anyone.

"I'm sorry?" Sari spoke up because this bitch was playing games. That was a brand new card.

"Kimberly, what's the matter?" A man got up and went over to her.

"The card's not going through," she spoke up then her voice lowered as if Sari wasn't going to hear, "she probably already exceeded her thousand dollar limit--"

"Kimberly, I'll beat ya ass through this fucking window if you keep playin' games," Sari yelled, causing all the attention on her, "give me my card back."

"Cesa--"

"Now," she was so over it, especially when the guy said that she put the number in wrong, "fuck this whole building, this is why we'd rather have black doctors, at least they'd never think I'm beneath them."

"What's going on out here?" Dr. Matthews walked in and frowned, "Cesaria what's going on?"

"Your employee is racist that's what. She always has something to say about me and she's already stereotyping me based off a mistake she made," Sari stuffed her things back in her purse and headed to the door, "fuck all of you that work here."

SHMONEY

"It's best to go to the beach when it's not hot."

"It's freezing," Zayn's teeth chattered and Sari just smiled, watching him hug himself, "what the hell do you have me doing out here?"

Sari just looked at the water, sighing and hold her head up with her hand. "It's just so peaceful out here, like..." she shrugged innocently, "and I didn't want to not spend time with you."

"That's cute," he got off the hood of the car and grabbed his jacket from the backseat, "I can't feel my face."

"That's so sweet of you," she held a hand to her heart and grinned, "same with you."

"Yo, throw ya paws up, Sari. I swear to God," he sat next to her again and leaned his head on her shoulder, "annoying ass."

"Then get off me, shit."

"No," he held her closer and smiled, "I might fall asleep, so..."

"I don't mind, Zayn."

"Cool."

Cesaria felt the wind pick up, causing her curls to stir around her face and neck. She squinted through her hair and watched the setting sun, finding an immense amount of peace all of a sudden.

But even at piece, the back of her mind was cooking up something fierce.

She hadn't talked to Latasha in weeks, almost a month. She didn't reach out to her and vice versa, and Sari oftentimes wondered how great of a friend she was.

Like it was all Tasha's fault in the first place. Sari always beat herself up and Tasha was usually the one to lift her spirits, but now they weren't even talking, all because of her insensitivity to a subject Sari was emotional about.

Even if Sari played it off like she had all the confidence of a cheerleader in a gym locker room, she still had feelings. She hated this so much, like...

Being fat sucked sometimes.

She sighed and wiped at her eyes even though she wasn't crying. Maybe she shouldn't have let Zayn come with her, because she really needed to cry.

Zayn was already asleep, his mouth parted and light snores coming from it. His eyelashes touched the tops of his cheeks and his long hair was tousled all over his face. He was adorable to say the least. Sari was really lucky.

Then she thought, well, maybe if Zayn liked her then she would be okay. He was the one whose opinion she wanted the most because, yeah, she basically loved him to the ends of the earth and whatnot. But also, she didn't want to rely on a man's approval of what she needed to be. She didn't want to feel good about herself because he said so. It just wasn't who she was at all.

Sari leaned back on the car and Zayn subconsciously scooted closer, his head now on her stomach and his arms swapped around her hips. She just rolled her eyes at him and hummed.

What was she gonna do?

SHMONEY

I remade my covers and published the cast and playlist of my horror book of you wanna take a peek at it thooooo

it's called AT NIGHT and it has most of my fave black viners and bloggers in it, you're welcome