Roommates Or Soulmates?❤

Shattered

Sanaya is in Randhir's arms and he is hugging her lightly running his hand in her hair.

"I love you Randhir"

"Love you too Sanaya"

These words hit my heart so painfully. It's like someone has punched me in my stomach. I stand there rooted to the spot not knowing what to do. I feel like throwing up as bile rises in my throat. The container in my hand falls with a loud thud and all the laddoos fall on the floor. Both of them snap their face towards me.

Silence fills the room. The atmosphere becomes thick with tension and a feel a prick like feeling in my eyes. No Sanyukta don't cry.

Randhir comes forward and his eyes not even once meet mine. Come on Randhir tell me that what I saw is not true. Tell me that you only love me and this is one of your stupid pranks. Tell me that this is just fake. Oh please let me be sleeping. Please somebody wake me up from this nightmare. This is not possible. No no no.

He picks up all the laddoos and keeps the container on the bed. "Hi Sanyukta. Aa gayi tum" Sanaya chirps. Yes obviously I am back! Are you blind? I just look at her.

"Come on Randhir tell her" she urges Randhir grabbing his arm and putting her head on his shoulder.

"Um Sanyukta.. vo Sanaya. Sanaya is now.. now m- my.. g- girlfriend" he says not once looking in my eyes.

I feel like someone has pulled the rug from below my feet and my knees feel weak and I guess I will soon fall flat on the floor.

So Randhir all that we had in the past few days was nothing for you? It meant nothing. All this while Sanaya was the one you were craving for.

Sanyukta you are so stupid. Just because he said he wants a girlfriend like you doesn't mean he wants you. How easily I made a joke of myself. This is so humiliating. I feel like crying. Not the lady like sobs. No. I feel like crying so loudly where there is no space for breathing. But not in front of them Sanyukta. Don't cry in front of them.

So Randhir meant nothing with all those feelings. Fine.

I plaster a fake smile on my face and hug Sanaya. "Wow" I say. Then I stand in front of Randhir and he is taken by surprise when I hug him. I hug him tightly. I guess for the last time I will be this close to him. I blink back my tears. He doesn't hug me back.

Won't you even hug me?

"Congratulations. I am so happy for you Randhir" I say with my voice cracking on all the wrong places.

I break the hug and quickly glance at his face which is full of hurt. Hurt? Really? So you are feeling bad for me now.

I plaster a last fake smile before going out and as I turn my eyes are already brimmed with tears. I don't know why but I quickly go on the terrace from that secret stairs. It's around 4 but still it feels dark. The clouds match the colour of my eyes promising a storm.

I sit on the floor with my mind gone numb. I just sit there thinking about what I just saw. Thinking about Randhir. Our connection. Our bond. Sanaya.

'Sanaya is now my girlfriend'

Forget it Sanyukta, he wasn't worth it. He was just another guy and you were just another girl who gave her heart to him and he shattered them into pieces.

The hugs, the smiles, the closeness was nothing. Nothing to him. He is not worth it Sanyukta. Just forget it.

How can I forget it. It meant so much to me. The care of his, the warmth in his embrace, that smile for me. Was it really nothing Randhir?

____

I suddenly look around and realise that I am surrounded in darkness. I stay on the ground sulking. How long have I been sitting here. I don't know and I don't care. I am staring at the wall in front of me. I feel a dull ache in my chest. Everything is a mess.

"Randhir" I say under my breath. "I love you Randhir" I gasp as a sob escapes my lips. "Tumne mera dil tod diya... Mera dil tod diya.. Tod diya"

That's when realisation hits me. Randhir. My love. Mera pehla pyaar. I feel cheated and dejected. My eyes well up when the first drop of rain hits the ground. That's when the dam falls apart and tears start flowing down my eyes mixing away with the rain drops. I cry and cry and cry and cry hard. I bring my knees towards my chest and sob uncontrollably. I look upwards. "RANDHIR.." I scream on top of my lungs.

'Sanaya is now my girlfriend'

I clench my fists so tightly that my nails are digging the skin of my palm. My eyes are burning. My chest is aching. My stomach is churning. I am crying over the loss of something which was never mine. Why did you do this to me Randhir. Am I so worthless? Why couldn't you love me. Why Randhir why?

"Sanyukta?" I hear a shout from behind and I immediately recognise the voice.

______

Well I feel really depressed after writing this. Don't hate me please!