"Where the hell were you Sanyukta?" a very familiar voice booms in the darkness and I drop my bag by the sudden noise. Randhir switches on the lights and grabs both my shoulders and looks at me from head to toe.
I take up a moment to look at him and he is absolutely messed up. His clothes are disheveled and his hair is sticking out in all directions like he has been running his hands over them continuously.
I shrug off his hands and sit on the bed. "You didn't answer me" Randhir states.
"Yes I didn't. So?" I snap back. I am really tired by the mixed signals this guy is giving me every time we are alone. Where is the concern when Sanaya is around, huh?
"Sanyukta mai tumhe dhund raha tha. Vidushi kuch bataane ko ready nahi aur baaki sab ko bhi bataane se manaa kar di thi. She is so going to pay back for this!" This time his voice is calm and collected.
Thank you Vidushi for this. I am glad nobody told him about my whereabouts. Let him worry a little bit.
"Mai thak gayi hu Randhir. Good night" I say. Avoiding him is the best solution I guess. He suddenly sits on my bed.
"No more avoiding me Sanyukta. Do you have any idea mai kitna pareshaan tha? Tumhe achha lagta hai mujhe tang karna? It's 11pm for god's sake. Tumhe kitne calls kiye but tum toh jawaab bhi nahi de rahi thi. Ho kya gaya hai tumhe?" he asks, getting irritated.
"Mujhe kya hua hai? Seriously?" I give him a fake laugh. "Mai kaha thi ye mai tumhe kyu bataau? And I guess you are the only one jisse nahi pata. Pata bhi kyu hoga. Tum tumhaare life me busy ho. Aur sawaal toh aise kar rahe ho jaise tum mujhe sab bataa ke karte ho." I snap back. He is taken aback by my outburst.
"Tum mujhe avoid karti rahogi toh mujhe kaise pata chalega Sanyukta? Mai kab se tumse baat karne ki koshish kar raha hu. Tum bass koi bahaane se avoid karti ho." he says.
"Ha. Kyuki mai karna chahti hu tumne ignore. Randhir jo bhi tum kar rahe ho, sab mere saamne hai, clear hai. Mujhe explanation nahi chahiye. Tumne vo kiya jo tumhe sahi laga aur ab mujhe jo sahi lag raha hai vo mujhe karne do. And if you are that concerned about me, toh mai part-time job kar rahi hu college ke baad. Aaj se join ki."
His eyes widen. "Job? Kaha?? Aur kyu? Koi prob.."
"Tumse dur rehne ke liye" I don't know how these words came out but I couldn't help it. I am just so hurt and tired. I just said it out honestly.
"But mujhe tumse dur nahi rehna.." he says in a whisper.
Here we go with the mixed signals again.
"Enough Randhir. Please. Tum jaane anjaane me mujhe hurt kar rahe ho. How can you say such things? Sanaya tumhari girlfriend hai. Aur tum kabhi bhi mere ekdum se kareeb aa jaate ho, lekin jab vo saamne hoti hai tab nazre bhi nahi milaate. Is this some kind of a game for you? Because for me it's not!!" I am breathing heavily.
"Is this about me and Sanaya?" He asks.
Oh no Randhir. After all that I said is this the only thing you got? Can't you see that I am confused? Can't you see that it is difficult for me to see you with another girl after being so close with you. If it would be any other girl, then too it would be the same. I would have been hurt the same way. It's about 'our' connection. The moments that we shared back home. What were they? Nothing?
"No Randhir" I answer honestly. "It's not about Sanaya and you. It's about you and me."
We both are silent as he is absorbing all my words. After like an eternity he finally says "Fine. I'll stay away." With that he gets up and goes out of the room.
Fine? So he will stay away? Just like that? Good. Great. Why was I secretly hoping that he would fight for me. That he would tell me that he will never stay away from me. That he will never let me go. But no, he just decided that he will stay away.
But that's what you asked for Sanyukta right?
Yes I asked for it, so why am I feeling so bad. It's like he just broke up with me even though we were not together.
My eyes well up but I blink back my tears. I am definitely not crying for him. Enough of the self pitying. I am here to study and make a career, not to cry over a stupid heartbreak. I have my friends and daadi to make me happy. Mummy Papa will not like me being so weak.
What the hell was I expecting? That Randhir will love me and we will be happily ever after? He never told me he loved me. I just over analysed all those stupid moments. The moments that he must have had with so many other girls. How did I forget that he was a flirt? I am the most stupid person on this planet! So stupid for loving him. And the worst is that I expected him to love me back! That's it. No more hurting me now.
I hate him. I hate that gorgeous smile of his when he is talking to kids. I hate that signature smirk of his when he is teasing me. I hate that messy hair of his which is so perfect. I hate the sound of his laughter when he watches cartoons. I hate the way his eyes twinkle when he eats something delicious. I hate the way he makes everyone laugh. I hate that he is the most helpful and caring person I've ever met. I hate him so much!
Because hating is so much easier than loving, right......?
________
Aww Sanyukta.. her feelings are all over the place. So hating is easier than loving, huh? What say?
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Roommates Or Soulmates?❤
Fanfiction~~~~ It's him. The same eyes that expressed all the feelings that he had. The same arms that held me in happiness and sorrow. The same lips that made me feel loved, which were so addicting. It's Randhir Singh Shekhawat. ~~~~ If you miss Sadda Haq, t...
