You and I (vkook)

Author Notes

I know it is long but bear with me here please.

This is something probably no one wants to read. But I wrote this for me more than for anyone else because sometimes you gotta forget about how your work will be received and do it for yourself.

The thing here is that this is a shitty piece of writing with what I call "style inconsistency" because sometimes the writing is meh and others is less meh. My writing is never good but this time is just actually a shitty mess because I was a mess while writing this.

I wrote to vent my emotions so it's probably not an accurate representation of anything (characters/ places/ whatever) but it is and accurate representation of my feelings.

I wrote this in my highest moments and in my lowest moments and there's where my inconsistency comes from.

I wrote happy cheesy shit on my good days and all the sad emotional crap on my bad days. This was written in a long period of time as a vent vessel for my own shit so it's real in some fucking deep ways but superficial as shit in some others.

This is the way I found to help myself. Writing down my shit feels surprisingly good and quite liberating.

I am extremely shy and reserved and no one in the world actually knows me because I don't express myself enough for them to know, I also am really bad on talking my feelings out, I never know what to say or how to express myself but with writing, oh man with writing it just flows, I vomit all the words that have been trapped inside of me, I have time to look back at what I wrote and change it for better and then all I wrote ends up making perfect sense and I finally have said all I ever wanted to say.

So this shit is for me, it was a vessel for my emotions and now it's a reminder that I can write shit down to feel better and a hope note for myself with the intention of letting me believe that one day I'll feel genuinely happy about life, about living.

It's all very symbolic and shit but nonetheless I hope you all enjoy it and if you actually read all my endless notes just know that I appreciate it and that I love you.

Truly, I love you so much for reading this story and this notes cause this is important to me and I hope I made you smile a least once because I fail hard at making people around me happy so I hope I can make people far from me happy. Every comment about how people enjoyed my work fills my empty soul because I love knowing I made people happy with something I did. I love making people happy. That's all.

So read this with love and please excuse any grammar mistakes or misspelling as my mother language is not english.

This will have four parts but they don't have the same amount of chapters. Each part will have a title and will include a chapter for Jeongguk then one to Taehyung and so on so on, but none of it are in first person, don't worry.

Each chapter will have a phrase to separate when I change the POVs, its more of a symbolic change because its pretty damn obvious when the POV changes. I'll write which phrase applies to which boy, you'll understand once you start reading. Also the title and all the phrases on this are from PVRIS songs.

Trigger warnings: mental health issues; panic attacks; self-hatred; self confidence issues; hints of depression; there is NO self-harm though don't worry; also nobody dies; and I promise this will have a happy ending...

I should shut up now.

Hope you enjoy.