Chapter 39

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I know it's warmer where you are and it's safer by your side // But right now I can't be what you want // Just give it time

After what Taehyung had shared with Jeongguk, the younger tried his best to assure his boyfriend that he never deserved that much pain in his life, that it was completely okay for him to not have attended his mom's funeral and that if he wanted Jeongguk would help him as much as he could to discover where her grave was.

Once the older told him everything, Jeongguk could feel the emptiness and the sadness coming from the older's words. It was painful to just hear about it all, he couldn't possibly imagine how hurtful it was for Taehyung.

But he had always known that Taehyung was strong. He may be broken, but his hurtful past made him strong and the person he is today and Jeongguk loves the person he is today. Even with his panic attacks and often drop of moods.

Taehyung went along with the younger to the café after they left Taehyung's apartment and Jeongguk made him a frappuccino and gave him two brownies on the house, making sure to tell him all of it wasn't "pity food" but rather a "smile to me again" type of food. That did make Taehyung share a small smile and Jeongguk felt proud to be able to be the reason for it.

The younger did not allowed his boyfriend to sleep alone that day, so he dragged Taehyung to his dorm after his shift at the café and hugged the older while he slept in his arms.

He was glad Taehyung shared it all with him, of course Jeongguk can't possibly imagine how hard it was for him, but the younger was a big believer that you need to let the bad feelings out in order to find some closure with them and he thinks Taehyung had that after he told Jeongguk about his mother.

The next day the older was still a little bit off, but not as bad as before. It was a rough couple of days for him. He had to go back home, feel broken again because of it and after he opened up about his darkest time with Jeongguk. The younger was always there for him tough. Trying and mostly succeeding in making him smile.

Just two days after Taehyung actually laughed and smiled as before. He went back to his crazy adorable self and Jeongguk loved to see him like that.

That Friday night right after Jeongguk's shift, Taehyung drove Jimin and Yoongi to the latest loft and told Jeongguk he wanted to drive around just a bit more before they went to the younger's loft .

Of course the younger agreed and he was surprised to see that the only reason why Taehyung wanted to do that was to scream song lyrics without the other two in the car.

Jeongguk gladly took part on it and both boys just drove around for nearly two hours just singing and dancing – as much as you can dance inside a car –like crazy. It was their own carpool karaoke and the younger really felt more than happy that night.

Unfortunately things did not stay like that after.

His weekend was great. After his shift on Saturday he just binge watched some random show with Taehyung and they had a great time. They had a lazy Sunday, leaving the bed only after 2pm and only because they were dying of hunger.

Taehyung did had to go back to his dorm that day, because he had been sleeping at Jeongguk's loft all week and Jimin was now very annoyed at that. So his boyfriend went to his dorm that night to spend time with his best friend and finally tell him why he was feeling bad the week before.

That was when Jeongguk realized he had a paper due to the next day and rushed into it. He was up until 3am trying to finish it as best as he could and that's when shit started to go sideways for him.

Turns out being up until that late wasn't really good for him and definitely wasn't the best decision he ever made.

Jeongguk figured that as he was able to work it out before, he would be able to pull it off this time too, but that wasn't what happened. He woke up in a jump feeling he was late for class and well he wasn't wrong about that.

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