Living With Dee

Fourty-nine

 I couldn't focus completely on the road. The worry for my best friend swarmed my brain and over took my thoughts. My heart was aching so badly I felt like I was going to faint.

No matter happened, though, I refused to back away from this mission. I will find LizAnnie and I will take her home at any cost. Whatever it took.

Even with that set dead in my mind, my heart still pounded with worry. Because of my attention span being lower than average, I didn't hear the incessant ringing of a phone. When I finally did, though, I realized I was recklessly driving down the narrow dirt road surround by trees.

I yelped, swerving the car back into place. I didn't think clearly when I answered the phone connected to the vehicle's radio. Instantly I regretted that quick decision as Raven's voice entered the car.

"You know, you really are stupid," he growls.

I roll my eyes, looking at each of my sides to see if he was some how near me. "You can either help me find her or leave me alone," comes my half-hearted response. "I'm tired of waiting, Raven. For a gang leader and oh-so-brilliant kidnapper, you sure suck at finding people."

A soft sigh cane from his side to which I acknowledge with a smirk. "Tesoro, stop insulting me before I get pissed. Anyway, who are you to-"

"Raven," I snap. "This isn't time to fight back. Take our daughter to safety. If you can't do more than that, shut up. I'm sick of this run-around game. After I find LizAnnie, we are going home. Back to my family."

He didn't hesitate. "They're not here, Mackenzie."

I slammed on the brakes, jolting forward from the force and screamed. "What do you mean they are not here?!" My heart rate shot through the roof and my brain tried to soak up the words.

"Tesoro, I'm saying those people who took her? They're gone. They left the state. Bye bye. Arrivederci! Gone."

I yanked the steering wheel closer before throwing it back with a scream of frustration. "How did you let them go? They were right in our palms, Raven! They were sitting right between our fingers. We could have gotten them both! Raven, we-"

"They have more people helping them. I didn't realize this before and made the calculations wrong. Mackenzie, you have to calm down so we can find her," he says in a manner to which he has never used on me before.

My voice cracks as I respond, but I swallow my sorrows. "This was your fault! You could have saved her too. You didn't care about her at all and now she could be out there suffering." I close my eyes and clench my fist.

He sighs again. "I made a mistake, okay? Are you happy now?"

I open my eyes to glare harshly at the radio his voice came from. "It's not about you anymore, you jerk. I don't care about your pride, and whatever you do in your spare time. I can't stop you from torturing those people in your closet-thingy, and I can't stop your dumb gang. But I can tell you I'm leaving you."

"Mackenzie-"

"What did you think this was?" I ask. "A fiction book? Where everything would be all honkey-dory if you took me from my home? From my family? Did you think I would fall in love with you and everything would be fine?"

There was silence as I angrily said those words, with my heart cracking inside my chest. As I said them, I felt all the pent up energy over the past hours of every day, release into venomous words. I sucked in a sharp breath and held it in, staring at the top of the car with frustration.

"We will never be like that, Raven," I whisper harshly. "I can't ever love you for the things you have done."

That was the truth. When I kissed his tender lips, I thought I was in love. I thought that if he loved me back, everything would be ok. But instead, it was like I was addicted to a drug. It was harming me in several, horrible ways, but I kept coming back to it the worse things got.