Living With Dee

Fifty

"I'm putting my foot down," I state, straightening my back and looking  into the eyes of a monster. A beast unleashed. It's eyes flashed with pure anger and growled lowly, but did not utter a word as I continued my rant. "You have dragged me around since the day I had found you. This time, I will be taking control."

I watched Jason drop his head in the corner of my eye. Slowly I breathed out a huge breath as the beast took a slow step backwards, surprising me. "Fine. Do as you please. I am done with these games."

As I heard him tell me this, I couldn't help but watch his shoulders become more stiff. The veins in his neck became prominent to the point that it seemed unhealthy. "So you agree? That what you have been doing since then is playing a game? Like life is some chess board?! Did I look easy to you?" I couldn't help but raise my voice the more I thought about it. Just like always, though, I opened my mouth when I could have kept it shut. Everything could have ended peacefully.

I never know when to stop.

"Did I say that?!" He angrily spat in my face. His cheeks became red and his eyes widened. For some reason the beast was restraining himself. And of course, I wanted to poke at him more. "Those words have never left my mouth! Quite being such an imbecille! Non si può mordere la lingua per la vita di voi! Sei così egoista al punto che mi chiede il motivo per cui non ho tagliato la gola."

I raised a hand in protest to whatever he spewed from his lips. I started to point at him in anger when a cry from my beautiful child stopped me. In fear that I might loose her once again, I rush to her side. Tucking her close to my chest, I swayed back and forth to keep Dee content.

Slowly, my anger and hate died. "Raven," I call. Not looking to see if he was listening, I started to talk again. "This life, I hold between my hands, means the world to me. The life that you hold control over, is in grave danger." Clenching my eyes, I whisper softly, "My life, is in your palms. Please, please do not throw these precious things away."

There was silence replying to me. I soaked in the soft skin of my tiny human and kissed it. The feeling of her in my arms could never be replaced. She was my reason for living.

After a moment, Raven had left the room with Jason following behind. Cory shut the door, leaving me to fold in my pain alone. I knew the conversation was not over, by the way he stormed out with rage following hot on his trail. He was furious and building with anger the farther he walked away from me. From the problem he had caused.

But I also knew, I hurt him. I do not know the complete reason why Raven was so infatuated with me, nor why he went so far as to kidnap me. A part of the reason, though, must be to shelter Diana and from his dangerous life. He must have thought taking me away from my home was better than watching me being ripped from the world. As well as the growing Diana in my stomach.

Whatever his reason was, it would not justify how miserable he made me. Raven had not only endangered me, but my best friend as well. It is unforgivable what horrible things we had to suffer because of his quick thinking.

"You are my sunshine," came my cracked singing voice. Diana slightly jumped in my arms because of it, but did not continue to cry. "My only sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are gray. You'll never know dear how, much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away."

I do a small chuckle at the end of the song. "I know songs but I'm not even sure if they are appropriate to sing to a baby," I tell her. Shifting her frail body in my arms, I begin to rock her. Shrugging, I sing the first song to pop in my head. A couple stutters and mumbles into the song, I realized I missed using my voice.

I also realized I missed running to the point I would sing out of breathe. The running type where I could do it freely and release unwanted stress. Now, I was running for my life to two dead ends. Either way, I would not end up happy with whichever path I took.

"Diana, give me hope. Give me purpose. Give me strength. I need all of your love to get through this difficult time. I must end this here and now."

The shadow under the door moved suddenly, making me realize Raven was still there. I eyed it for awhile, but I never answered a move to confront him. Instead, I continued to talk to my daughter as if I didn't know he was there.

"I love you, my baby. I promise you will not grow up this way. I hate that you may not be able to ever know or see your father after this. But it's for the best, baby girl. He is too dangerous for you. I cannot raise you in this environment. Dee, you understand, right?"

Even though I spoke her name, the question was forwarded to Raven. I wanted him to peacefully hear my reason and the sincerity behind my words. Every part of my heart was aching so bad, I felt as if it might explode one day. The moment I get LizAnnie back with me, it would hopefully end.

"Your dad will be a good man in your eyes though. You are far too young to realize what is going on. I think it might be best if you don't know who he really is-"

"Okay, Mackenzie. I agree. When we get Lizman back I will let you go. Under my conditions."

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Italian words!

Imbecille- imbecile 

Non si può mordere la lingua per la vita di voi! Sei così egoista al punto che mi chiede il motivo per cui non ho tagliato la gola- you cannot hold your tongue for the life of you. (And than he basically questions why he ever liked her...Ya da ya da ya da)