Darker Blood

Chapter seventy-six

Jungkook pov~

The longer I crouched in the weak filters of sunlight offered through the trees, the sicker I felt with myself.

I had to be cruel to her, on purpose, and I had no clue how I'd be able to do that. The very first time, it was completely accidental, and she'd changed me into something that didn't crave to watch her suffer. She'd transformed all of us into beings that could love a mortal, a human, our own prey. She'd somehow managed to show me the true depth of love that could fill a single heart, beating or not.

A forced cough left my now strained throat, and I swallowed a couple times, breathing the frost hidden in the wind deep into my lungs, clearing the emotion as best as I could before it took over.

The bright light was penetrating my eyes, and I couldn't help but squint, not used to the blinding light that tried to warm by frozen soul. I thought about her again, I couldn't help it, and with a bittersweet smile, I told myself how suited she is to be in the sunlight.

The heat was intensifying, and rising in the sky as time went on; several hours must have past since I first stumbled out here, unable to sleep with the dizzying sickness that filled my gut.

If I had just left her alone after I bumped into her in the hallway of that school on the very first day, would she have a different, and happier, life now? Would her fate still be as twisted and unsure as it is now, after I'd tangled the chords through my own selfish craving to be loved?

The nausea came back in a wave so strong that I choked on the acid that ran up into my mouth, lowering my eyes from the glowing warmth to the cold hard ground between my feet, colours I'd never seen before flashing and dancing against my eyelids as my eyes tried to readjust. I tried to focus on letting the frost settle back into my lungs to ground me back here, where I was in the forest, but it wasn't working this time, and I started to feel lightheaded.

I don't remember how I moved from a crouch that made my legs burn, to lying down on the ground, letting the cold soak through my jeans and numb my arms and tickle the back of my neck. I closed my eyes, drowning under the waves of nausea, and I couldn't make a single sound loud enough to ask for Seokjin's help, so I gave up, letting the exhausted muscles all over my body rest, even if they weren't positioned in the most comfortable way; my legs were twisted, a bruise bubbling on my shin from the way they'd collapsed, my torso just as twisted, my lower back missing out on the freshness of the cold ground, my arms splayed and tossed almost level with my head, and I tried to open my eyes to watch my fingers twitch, but the world just kept spinning.

All I could think then, was how much easier it would be to just stay here, letting the light and the earth battle over which I actually felt more intensely. If I just stayed here, maybe fate will sort itself out, and she'll find safety and happiness on her own, away from all the pain I could only promise her here.

The next moment I could feel myself being shaken so frantically, a panicked voice grinding against my ears, and I didn't want to answer, but from the urgency and breathlessness of their voice, I had to.

I creaked my eyes open, barely fazed by the wide eyes of the man above me. As soon as mine began to open properly, his alarmed ones started to relax.

"Jesus fucking christ, Jungkook, you scared me. I thought someone had beaten you."

Yoongi stepped back from my form, his hand releasing the bunch of material he'd shaken me up with. I swallowed once, my throat burning dryly, letting his words ring in the still air for a moment before I dug for the strength to get up in a sitting position, at the very least.