Iceland's Diary: It Began In Summer

(2P) Monday, February 13

Dearest Diary:

Today was a very wonderful day! So many nice things happened.  I don't even know where to start!!

Today,  Sweden knitted me another scarf! It's really very nice. I'm wearing it right now because it's very cold

Also,  Hanatamago finally accepted us as her family and stopped attacking us when we walked by her

Incase I haven't mentioned her before,  Hanatamago is our dog.  She's very ferocious and dangerous, but we all love her

Except Finland,  but he doesn't love anybody

Hanatamago likes attacking people and hurting them. Like that one time Sweden and I took her out for a walk and she ripped a guy's dick off

We had to pay for his sex change since it was impossible for him to be a man ever again

Anyways,  today we had our first meeting since "the incident"

I really don't remember what it was about since I was too busy praising myself for being incredible

I do that very often,  and I think I really haven't talked about anything else except me on here...

So I'll change that,  at least for today

Oh! I remember now... The meeting was about us being extremely poor

If I remember correctly,  the meeting went something like this:

Denmark: Alright so... we are very very poor.  We need money.  Ideas?

Sweden: We could bake cookies and sell them

Denmark: That sounds like a great idea.... NOT

Sweden: Aw

Me: I think that as long as we're all happy and together,  we don't need money!

Finland: Nobody cares about your goddamn opinion!

Denmark: ......

Sweden: Calm down...

Denmark: How about you,  Norway? Ideas?

Norway: ........

Denmark: ........

Sweden: ........

Me: ..........

Finland: ...... What was that noise??

Norway: I farted

Denmark: Dammit,  Norway! Again?!

I love my big brother,  he's so funny

All day,  we just kept talking about ideas to get more money and be rich! It was a really fun time and I enjoyed it

Just when we were about to end the meeting,  Hana ran in and attacked Finland

Finland punched Hana many times but she did not let go of him

Fortunately,  Norway grabbed a lit candle and scared her away

We were all very proud of him... except Denmark.  He didn't give a shit

But then,  Norway didn't even let go of the candle and just stared at it

Denmark: ....... Let go of that candle

Norway: No. I'm gonna light the house on fire

Finland: ARE YOU RETARDED?

Sweden: You're gonna hurt his feelings!

Denmark: Why would you even do that?!

Norway: The demons are telling me to

Finland: I'M GETTING THE FUCK OUTTA HERE

Sweden: Wait... the insurance will give us money....

Denmark: That's not how it wo-

Sweden: BURRRRRRRN THE HOUSE DOWN

And big brother burned the house down

There was so much smoke but I'm actually used to it since Denmark usually smokes around the house all day

We were too busy watching the house burn down that we forgot to get out and ended up in the hospital

I'm alright though! I broke my leg,  but otherwise, I'm 100% OK!

After a while in the hospital,  we thought our plan was going to give us lots of money....but we forgot that we're poor and don't have an insurance....

We were very disappointed,  but hey! We were all together as a family and that's the only thing that matters

Well, I'm going to sleep for a bit. I'm very exhausted

Goodbye!

-Iceland

More funny things I found while "investigating"  for this chapter

Part 2?