Iceland's Diary: It Began In Summer

Sunday, June 18

Dear Diary:

I sat next to Sealand and he drooled all over me .__. fuck

We arrived at the country... I can't remember the name- and everyone was like speaking weird ass languages and I was like wot

We were all like wot

Sealand: HONG KONG! PLEASE TRANSLATE ;-;

HK: HEY, JUST BECAUSE THIS IS ASIA IT DOESN'T MEAN I UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY'RE SAYING

Liechtenstein: ISN'T THIS CHINESE?!

HK: ASIANS SPEAK MORE LANGUAGES THAN JUST CHINESE YOU UNCULTURED SHIT

Me: THEN WHY DON'T YOU SPEAK THIS ONE?

HK: BECAUSE I FUCKING DON'T

Liechtenstein: YOU'RE A DISAPPOINTMENT TO ALL ASIANS

HK: THANK YOU

Me: HOW WILL WE COMMUNICATE WITH THESE PEOPLE?

Sealand: Let me try something..... mOOOOOOOO

HK: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?

Liechtenstein: SEALAND OMF

Me: SEALAAAAAAND

So we wandered around looking for someone that actually spoke English or something but we failed horribly so we just called a taxi sOMEHOW AND SCREAMED AT THE DRIVER TILL WE GOT TO DA MOUNTAIN

We found out later that he speaks English

So there we were... staring at the mountain

Me: Okay! We gotta climb this in one or two days. We gotta go back home quick

Liechtenstein: I have experience climbing mountains so it'll be easy as frying a goat

Me: I have experience frying goats

Sealand: I unfortunately have experience eating that

HK: ....... You people are gross

(A/N: this is so sad to write, my neighbour has a goat and she's like a big fat hairy puppy ;-; XD)

Me: Well, let's start climbing I guess-

And then this mountain guy appeared and roared at us and we were like wot wot in hell but then he noticed and started Englishing

Dude: Hi so you're here to climb the mountain

Us: Yes

Dude: You brought just a small backpack...

Liechtenstein: I MADE SOUP :D

Dude: That won't be enough for 60 days

Us: .....

HK: Yeah, we like want to climb it all today

Sealand: Yeah, we aren't gonna live there...

Dude: ...... You first need to spend a few weeks of climate adaptation and then you climb the mountain... Not completely though... And that only takes about two weeks

Me: BYE!

We lowkey ran away and hid behind a bush

HK: No offence but your birthday was SHIT

Me: Gee, thanks

Liechtenstein: Now what? Big brother will kill me if he knew I used the toilet paper to pay for a useless plane ticket

HK: Wait isn't it Father's Day today or something?

Sealand: Wasn't it on the 19th?!

Liechtenstein: No, it changes

Sealand: But Don't Hu-

Liechtenstein: Trust me.... I thought the same

HK: Happy Father's day, Ice

Me: <3

Liechtenstein: You guys are disgusting. BUT SERIOUSLY- Where are we going to go now?? It's getting dark

Me: Oh shit, look at that

HK: FUCK OMG

Sealand:  I FORGOT MY SPIDGET FINNER!

HK: ......

Me: .......

Liechtenstein: ....say Fidget

Sealand: Fidget

Liechtenstein: Now say spinner

Sealand: Spinner

Liechtenstein: Fidget Spinner

Sealand: Spidget Finner

Liechtenstein: No, you gotta say Spid-.... FUCK

Me: GUYS IT'S GETTING DARK  I SEE THE MOON

Sealand: HEY MOON PLEASE FORGET TO FALL DOWN

HK: STOP WITH THE REFERENCES I'M FUCKING TERRIFIED IT'S TOO DARK! FUCK EVERYTHING SOMEBODY CALL OLD MAN CHINA WE'RE ALL STAYING AT MAH HOUSE

Me: Yay :D

Liechtenstein: Hurray, a gay sleepover

Sealand: YAAAAAY

So we miraculously found a phone booth and called China and sh- he picked us up after 5 hours (Idk how Hong Kong survived) and screamed at us for wanting to climb a mountain on our own

So we'll worry about our """brothers"""  later cuz we gonna have a sleepover! :D

Probably tomorrow though... It's gonna be about morning when we get to his house...

A CAR SLEEPOVER

LIKE IN THAT MOVIE WHERE THEY SLEEP IN THEIR CAR...

-IceLaNd

.... I'M GONNA TRY AND UPDATE YESTERDAY AND THE DAY BEFORE. IDFK WOT HAPPENED TO ME I'M SO LAZY ;-;

Btw for those reading this in the future (hi) it's 6/21/17 - 21/6/17 - or however you write it. I'm a disappointment, right? CAN U SEE THAT :v