The Redemption of Severus Snape

Part 59

Lindsay lay on the bed and rested her eyes, but she was too agitated to sleep. So many thoughts swarmed her at once that there was no chance of soothing repose. Albus assured her that Niketas was healthy, but she still worried about the birth. She was having her first child, and she couldn't help but feel anxious. She worried that Severus wouldn't live long enough to see his son. She worried that Harry Potter would have to see and do things that he was much too young to cope with. But more than anything, she worried for her sanity. Nine months of being completely alone would drive her out of her mind. The one thing Lindsay couldn't handle was being alone. The empty silence of the cottage made her feel as though she were lost within a fortress of stone. But her child needed her to be strong, and that was the one thing that made her steal herself.

She rose before dawn and forced herself to eat a hearty breakfast. Her baby needed the nourishment. She had no appetite and it took her ages to finish eating. Lindsay loved food; she loved eating it, cooking it, shopping for it and talking about it. The one thing she didn't do was grow it. But her current situation reduced her interest to nil. There was no one to share a meal with; no one to talk about the meal with, and no one to cook for. Lin's sensitive palate disappeared immediately and everything she ate and drank seemed to have no flavor at all.

The first thing Lindsay did after eating was to go outside and take a look at her surroundings. It was a bright clear morning. The air was crisp and very cool and the sky was a vivid azure blue broken by the occasional large, fluffy, white cloud. She was high in the mountains and the air smelled fresh and clean. Thick patches of vibrant green crowned by multi-colored flowers showed through the melting snow on a steep slope that led to a great swathe of evergreen trees.

Lin turned to look at the cottage. To a Muggle's eyes, it probably looked like a huge cluster of crumbling boulders. It blended so well into the rocks and shrubbery around it that it was virtually invisible. The heavy wooden door was its most obvious feature. The fire inside the hearth was magical so there were no puffs of smoke rising from the stubby stone chimney. Around the back of the cottage was a disused footpath that disappeared amongst the tall pine trees. Far below the trees, twisting along the very steep slopes and disappearing between rolling hills, was a narrow road barely wide enough for a single compact car.

Lin shivered, rubbed her arms, and re-entered the cottage to warm up. She wouldn't be roaming about outside without a coat until the weather warmed a bit more. She looked about the small warm space that seemed so large and empty to her and fought back tears

"This will not do," said Lin to herself, her tone rather harsh. "You're a grown woman with a baby who needs you to be strong." Her eyes travelled to her pile of luggage that clogged the small space between the kitchen and the bed. She set about sorting her things into something neater.

There was no place to put her clothing so she'd have to live out of her suitcases; but Lin was well-travelled and had done that before. She stacked her art supplies under the table and on chairs as she only really needed one. She moved one table chair near the birthing chair so she could use it to shelve medicinal potions that she might need during the birth. Her eyes kept traveling to the birthing chair; it appeared almost medieval to her, but then again obstetrics was not her area.

Lin's next task was to sketch a portrait of Severus. She spoke to the portrait as though Severus were actually there with her. It quickly became dog-eared and smudged because she carried it around with her, so she drew more portraits and hung them on the walls. The cottage quickly began to look like a shrine to Severus, so Lin sketched portraits of other people for diversity.

She spoke to all of the portraits as though the people they depicted were actually with her. The drawings were a diversion, a necessary fantasy; but Lin wondered how easy it would be to become blind to the line between reality and fantasy. She was shocked when she took stock of all the drawings. There were far fewer Muggles than witches and wizards. Lin hadn't realized just how much she'd assimilated into the new world that Minerva and Albus had introduced her to.