Six of Crows One-shots

Mercy or goodbye?

Inej.

(Trigger warning: mentioning of self-harm, as well as suicidal thoughts)

Silence soaked the barrel, it leaked into every crack and crevice, carving its way through the streets and filling a void that kept growing larger.

The snow that had been falling vigorously fell harder, but could not block Kaz's vision. He moved quickly despite all of it, the pain in his leg and blinding vision. "Curse all those saints." He hissed as he punched his way through the crowd, he felt Inej jump down from the roofs, he didn't need help, but didn't care.

He heard gunshots from Jesper who was a few alleys away. Soon they were surrounded, by unconscious bodies that is, Kaz kicked one. Most of them would be deceased and swallowed by the snow, suffocated. He turned, eyes searching in vain for her lithe form. He followed his senses, "Inej.." he murmured, blinking the snow from his eyes, she was leaning against the wall. She met his eyes, then he dropped his glance, eyes resting on a knife buried between her collarbone.
He leaned down beside her, blood coating the snow.

"Don't let them take me to the Reapers barge..." the whisper reached him, he just shook his head. This wasn't real. He refused it to be, it was just a nightmare Inej couldn't.... it wasn't possible. "Kaz. Promise." She panted out, he used his body to block the snow. "I promise... your not going to slip away from me Inej... not tonight." He heard the stomps of footsteps somewhere, but couldn't really understand it. He felt numb, blaming it on the cold.

"Where are those idiotic medics when someone actually needs them.." Kaz hissed, eyes searching the streets for help. "Kaz.. can you pray for me?" Inej sounded so calm.. "Inej that's ridiculous! Where were your saints when you were stabbed!" He huffed out, he didn't care. He would have time to apologize later, right now he just needed her to heal.
"Hmmm..." Inej murmured, eyes sliding shut behind her eyelashes. "Inej, keep your eyes open.." she sighed, only half opening them.

Reaching over she wrapped her arms around Kaz's neck, snuggling closer to him. He froze, she sighed out... he paused, listening... then panicking. He pulled her closer, she was so cold, he ran his leather gloves through her unbraided black hair. Something was burning and tearing loose, this... wasn't happening.

He gently let Inej lay down on the snow.. "Kaz!" Jesper called, Wylan behind him..  their footsteps stopped... "someone get a medic..." there was no sound. "NOW!" He roared, scrambling footsteps told him one of them obeyed. He remained on his knees, black gloves resting in the glassy ice crystal. Soft crunches, he couldn't feel her presence, despite the fact she was right in front of him.

"Kaz..." Kaz didn't answer, he saw Jesper's hand slowly make its way toward his shoulder in his peripheral vision. "I'm going to burn down this damned city." Kaz snarled, eyes dull black. "But-" Kaz shivered hard, but now he knew it wasn't the cold. "It took my brother, my life, my sanity... but not her. Not her..." Kaz whispered the last part, he couldn't help the tears that left his black eyes, he never cried. Not for his brother, not for himself.

Jesper's hand touched his shoulder, "she will have a funeral, she will be remembered and mourned, she will not slip away forgotten Kaz." Jesper whispered, crouching beside him. Kaz didn't even care anymore. "Her saints will keep her safe." Kaz coughed, shaking his head, trying to get the tears off his eyes and snow out of his hair, trying to shake the feeling loose. "What did her saints ever do her! Useless saints..." Kaz snapped, burying his head into his hands.

In weeks to come they did hold a funeral, Inej's parents were there, Kaz felt miserable. Did I save her or doom her? Maybe she would have escaped the Menagerie and gone to her family. She could have been alive. But he couldn't bring himself to hate himself for getting Inej's indenture, for loving her and having her come back to him.