Six of Crows One-shots

A day at the docks

Kaz hated going there, he hated everything about it, those creaking wooden boards and screeching seagulls and what they symbolized. He hated the spray of the sea and the rush of unbroken wind, the water lapping only a foot or so below the sole of his shoe, and yet... here he was, once again on another night where the city streets were dead and his gloves drenched with blood, and only terrified, baffled idiots and ghosts to keep him company. Kaz sat at the dock, alone of course, who would come to the docs this late would be a fool to be out this late and was too nice for the thieves of the streets, but it was where Kaz's feet so often drew him. His hands dangled down, elbows resting on his knees as he watched blood drip down into the water, a splash of color before being lapped away by the hungry ocean, and his eyes unfocused, nobody would dare disturb him here.

He wondered and worried, of her and them... How did Nina do it? Just kept keeping on... Kaz shivered, he could barely imagine. The ocean was thirsty for blood, he knew it since he was nine, and he couldn't bare the thought of Inej quenching it's hunger. He would never know if it was her blood or her preys that stained the water, but it was a little of both, always. He moved his mind to the next of his worries, Wylan and Jesper... they were in Ravka, far away under the twinkling stars of the mountains as they trained Jesper's abilities. The war was going on still, Kaz could still remember hearing in a retelling from Nina the colors that hung on the wall, all Grisha types were in danger. Kaz closed his eyes, lifting his hand slowly and flicking the last of the blood off the glove, taking it off and setting it aside he pushed his pale hand through his dark hair. Glaring down at the small and docile waves, which he knew were but the offspring of the monsters a few miles out. "Must you take everything from me?" He muttered, looking up at the sky. His eyes stung, his headache only growing from lack of sleep. Why did he keep returning here? Week after week. He needed to sleep.... but no, he needed to wait.

They had to be okay... the ocean couldn't steal the remaining tattered bits of family he had left, it couldn't suck away his entire life... and yet it had. He choked out a rusty laugh, fighting off the tears that tried to pull out from under his lashes, he took off the other glove and set it aside, covering his face with his pale hands and chuckling softly, squeezing his eyes tight. "Your an idiot Brekker." He softly scolded in between laughing, pulling himself together with a heaved sigh from pressured lungs. What could he do? What would he do... if they never returned to him? If Nina never came back, If Wylan and Jesper were lost to cannon fire... if Inej- if she was swallowed by sea waves.... if she went like Jordie. Kaz snarled, standing and shaking his head, he began to pace the small wooden pier. "She'll come back... they all will...." he stopped talking, stopped moving and his shoulders slouched. He couldn't lie to himself, he had no control. He wouldn't be able to save them, or even be there... and the chances were horrifying. Kaz sat down, his back against a pole and his good leg pulled up, his bad one stretched out. He brought one hand across his eyes, he hated the ocean. He hated this pier. It brought back everything, it made him face the ugly truth. It made him remember his family, that he had broke his promise to himself, that he would never care again, that he wouldn't feel this pain. He let his head rest against the dock post, tears fought their way out, and silently ran down. It was worth it, to let them in and to care... they would come back... the ocean couldn't steal more people from his life... it could-... Kaz opened his eyes, the stars filling the dark blue-brown expanses of his eyes. But would it be worth it if their bodies found their way to him? Would it be worth it to lose his entire family all over again, one by one again?? Brick by brick, the ocean would tear his fortress down, using the cracks and the doors he had been so grateful for before.... Kaz's head dropped into his hands, clutching his fingers through his hair as pain panned through him once again, he felt like he was nine again, crying on a pier, but with anger at being helpless. He choked, a smile of only pain pulling across his mouth. He hated the ocean...