Make Me Yours (Lost Star)

Route 43

I came home with a brokeanheart. Dumiretso ako kaagad sa aking kwarto, nagkulong, at doon umiyak. I just can't take Eos' pained face off my mind. It kept on popping back and it haunted me even in my sleep.

Natapos ang klase na hindi ko nagawang makausap si Eos. I can't find the strength to talk to him. I know that I've hurt him but I don't know where to start. I know that I should be the one reaching out but I just really don't know what to do. Siguro ay dapat hayaan ko muna siyang magpalamig ng ulo. I still want him to see through my reasons. Kapag siguro nakapag-isip na rin siya ay mapagtanto niya ang mga bagay-bagay.

Alam ko na nasasaktan si Eos. Simula pa lang ng relasiyong ito ay alam kong hindi ko maiiwasan ang hindi siya masaktan. Hindi niya lamang iyon ipinapakita pero sa bawat pagtago ko sa kanya, alam kong nasasaktan ko siya. Hindi ko lamang naihanda ang sarili ko sa araw na isusumbat na niya sa akin iyon.

Because he promised to understand... Pumasok siya sa relasiyong ito na alam iyon.

Napasinghap ako. Ipinilig ko ang aking ulo. A tear fell down my eye when I realized what I was thinking and I immediately wiped it off.

I sound so selfish thinking like that! That's just so unfair for Eos.

Ang guilt na aking nararamdaman ay lalong nadagdagan nang makita si Eos sa labas ng aming subdivision matapos ang dalawang araw. He was leaning on his car while waiting for me.

I received a message from him last night. He asked me if I could come with him today. Hindi ko naman na tinanong kung saan kami pupunta. Basta lang akong umoo. I don't even know if we're already okay.

Nagmamatigasan kami ni Eos at hindi ko alam kung tama pa ba.

Nang makita ako ay agad nitong binuksan ang passenger seat. Tinitigan ko lamang iyon bago ibinalik ang tingin sa kanya. He wasn't looking at me. Ni hindi kami nagbatian. It's awkward. At doon ay bigla kong napag-isip na ayokong sumama kung ganito lang din pala.

We might just end up fighting again.

"Eos, are we okay?" I asked when I found the strength to speak. Doon ito lumingon sa akin. He sighed.

He seems resigned but he still looks dashing as always.

"Let's not fight, please." He answered instead. My heart sank. Hindi ko napigilan ang mainis sa kanyang isinagot.

"That's why I'm asking! I don't want us to end up hurting each other again." Sagot ko. "Kung ganoon lang ang mangyayari mamaya, it's better if I won't come with you."

Pumikit ito ng mariin at tumango.

"We'll settle our issue some other time, Empress." He said. He then opened his eyes and it immediately met mine. "But, please. Come with me today. I need you."

Natigilan ako nang marinig ang desperasyon sa boses nito. His eyes we're almost pleading, too, that I just found myself nodding at him.

Tahimik lang kami sa loob ng kanyang sasakyan. Para na akong mabibingi dahil wala man lang kahit music. Hindi naman na ako nagsalita dahil baka mag-away lang kaming dalawa.

I badly want to say sorry but even I can feel that a single sorry is not enough now. Pakiramdam ko nga ay sawa na si Eos na marinig ang salitang iyon sa akin. Baka umay na umay na siya sa mga sorry ko.

May isang oras din kaming bumiyahe bago pumasok ang kotse ni Eos sa isang eskwelahan. Humanap siya agad ng parking space doon. Ako naman ay inilibot ang tingin sa paligid.

"What are we doing here?" I asked him after he parked the car. Inalis niya ang kanyang seatbelt matapos patayin ang engine.

"It's Yuri's graduation day." Tipid nitong sagot. May inabot ito sa likod bago lumabas ng sasakyan at hinintay ko naman siyang pagbuksan ako ng pinto.