Route 55

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"Tell me. What did you find out?" He asked. I felt his hand on my wrist, stopping me from getting out of the car. Ramdam ko rin doon ang pilit niyang pagpipigil ng emosyon.

Marahas akong napalingon sa kanya nang mapagtanto ang sinabi niya.

"You know..." Halos walang boses na sabi ko dito. "Kailan pa?"

"Shit." Mahinang mura nito. A lone tear escaped his eye while he laughed with no humor. Natulala ako nang makita iyon. "Who told you?"

"Why didn't you tell me, Eos?" Sabay naming tanong sa isa't isa.

Matagal bago ito nakasagot. Ang bawat hinga nito ay malalim. I can visibly see his chest move.

"How did you find out?" He asked again. Hindi ako sumagot. Hindi makapaniwalang napapikit ako. "Who told you?!"

"That doesn't matter, Eos!" Sagot ko dito. "Bakit mo itinago sa'kin 'to?"

"It does matter!" Laban nito. "You seriously don't know why I'm keeping it from you?!"

"No, I don't!" I snapped. How could he keep something this important from me?

He looked at me with his eyes full of unshed tears.

"Because you'll leave me!" Maikling sagot niya pero parang milyon milyong karayom ang tumusok sa aking puso. I gasped for some air. Hindi ako nakasagot agad dahil alam kong tama siya.

"I know that this is the first thing you're gonna do when you find out about them! Hindi ka magdadalawang isip na iwan ako!"

Parang dam na nag-unahan sa pagpatak ang luha ko habang nakatulala sa wasak na estado ni Eos na sinasabayan ako sa pag-iyak.

Sumandal ito sa upuan at tumingala. His tears didn't stop.

"I already know that you can easily give me up but I still hoped that you'll fight for me." Anas niya. I laughed as I shake my head, my tears kept on rolling down my face.

"Because that's the right thing to do, Eos!" I said between my sobs. "I wanted... I wanted to fight for what we have, Eos. Ilang beses kitang tinanong pero walang puwang sa puso mo ang pagpapatawad! Until when can you stand seeing me without thinking of your father and my mom?!"

I saw how guilt crossed his face for a moment. Bumalik sa isipan ko ang mga panahon na para siyang napapaso dahil sa hawak ko at ang mga pag-iwas niya ng tingin. Napangiti ako ng mapait dahil doon.

"Kaya kong kalimutan ang lahat kung 'yan ang gusto mo." He pointed out. "Ano sa tingin mo ang ginagawa ko ngayon? I clearly know that I will hurt my own family, too! But damn it, Empress. I can give up everything for you."

Umiling ako.

"Mali 'to, Eos. Masasaktan silang lahat. H-hindi ko sila kayang saktan." Sagot ko, halos pumiyok dahil sa sobrang pag-iyak.

"And that's why you'll hurt me instead?" Puno ng hinanakit na tanong nito.

"No..."

"Then what?"

Napapikit ako sa sakit. Sakit ng katotohanang aking napagtatanto.

I know how much he loathes them. I know how pain and anger consumed him. Ipilit man namin ang amin ngayon, hahabulin pa rin kami nito sa huli hanggang sa pareho kaming maubos.

I also know the pain my parents went through just because of this. At alam kong ganoon din ang nararamdaman ni Tita Ellaine. Pati si Yuri at Trish ay madadamay. I cannot let that happen. We cannot be selfish.

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