Conor Maynard imagines

Angel up there

Two years already,two years and still my heart breaks a little. Two years since the one I loved was last seen

Two years since I told him he was funny, or made fun of him, Two years since we heard his voice, his songs his laugh, two goddamn years since I told him I loved him

He made me happy,god he made everyone happy. His smile was contagious, his bright blue eyes that you could lost in.all gone, for what? What did he do deserve what happened to him.what happened to us?

Why do bad things happen to good people.the memories strike through my mind everyday. The fear in my body that I had when I heard the glass shatter

When I grabbed my phone to check the time, it was 3am, shaking him awake for fear of being murdered. The scared look on his face but he still stayed strong just for me.

The yell he made before he was stabbed to the ground.the snarl the man made when he ran out the house.all stuck in my head everyday. Seeing the pile of blood around the man I call my own

The sound of the ambulance ringing in my head,all day everyday. The image of his lifeless murdered body laying on the floor stuck in my mind

I can't stand to hear his name,the posts fan made of their appreciation of him even being here.the man that made everyone happy is all of a sudden gone? I'm only half of the puzzle.

The way he would smile at our gorgeous baby girl,the way he would talk to her until she fell asleep.he loved our three year old daughter and done anything for her

I miss the way he would get our daughter to scare me,or take the Blame if he broke something but I always knew it was him.

We meant everything to Conor, and he means everything to us.he isn't gone,he just here in a different world.

I hate to see photos of him,but here I go scrolling through my camera roll to the very first photo

I looked at the photo tears rolling down my cheeks. We were both happy,kissing in the photo,I remember that day,it was his 23th birthday

I remember him holding me close to him as our lips moved like a puzzle being placed together.

I'll never forget the way his lips felt against mine, the way he held me tight not wanting the kiss to end

God I miss that man more than anything in the world.

But I know he wouldn't want me to be sad.he hated that,he told me it always used to make him feel sick when I cried, because he loved me, he cared for me everyday

He would always tell me "there's no need to cry when you have me by your side"

And it was true,there wasn't a need.he was there for me when times were bad.we shared laughs,cringe jokes,private time, family time. He was Always there to support me no matter what.

Looking down at my hand I see the two rings he gave me.the promises he made, the day we said 'I do'

And he stuck to the promises.he promised me that he would do anything to protect me and he did

The most amazing person lost his life for the one he loved.

Conor Maynard lost his life for me.