Conor Maynard imagines

Love all gone

It's Just not the same. When he holds me I feel nothing. When he kisses me I don't want to kiss back. And when he tells me he loves me...well I just smile and peck his lips.but even that peck on the lips I feel nothing but a boring  kiss.

I do feel bad of course I do. This has been the longest relationship I've been in ,for over three years.and it breaks my heart seeing how happy he is around me but I put on a act. Just so I don't hurt him.

Of course all the feelings where there when I first met him. And I've been trying to fall back in love with him but I can't.

I never get butterflies when I'm around him.and I don't feel as happy as I used to. Of course I still love him but not in the way he wants me to love him.

It was a Saturday morning when the truth was revealed.and it started like this

"Good morning baby" Conor mumbled smiling at me

"Morning" I say putting a smile on my face. He lent forward and connected our lips. I thought to myself that maybe if I kiss back the feelings would change. So i did. I kissed the man who thinks I'm still deeply in love with him like I was three years ago.

But no. I felt nothing. Nothing when his tongue gently rolled with mine. It was just dull. I really hate my feelings right now. There's something Inside me that doesn't want to leave him. But at the same time I just can't keep up this act anymore

I was the first to pull back and close my eyes again. Hoping he'll get the message in tired

"Do you want any breakfast" he asked

"Yeah, I'll come get it in a sec" I say and  Conor nodded slipping out of bed. He put on a hoodie and walked out the door.

I looked up at the ceiling decided what I should do. Of course I have to tell him: it's unfair if I don't.

I've been keeping up this act for far to long now and it's time he new. So I don't waste anymore of his life.

I slipped my jumper over my head and walked into the kitchen. But conor wasn't there. So I walked into the living room and there he was sat on the couch. Staring at a blank TV

"Hey" he said

"Hi" I reply sitting next to him

"Can i talk to you" we both said at exactly the same time

"Yeah" we both say, chuckling as we jokingly rolled our eyes

"You go first" Conor muttered suddenly a worried expression on his face

"I ummm I don't know how to tell you this without Just saying It so....over the last few months the feelings just haven't been the same. I don't get the same butterflies when we kiss. I don't feel as happy in your arms as I used to and I can't keep up this act anymore" I say looking down at my hands that were placed on my lap

"I umm I was going to talk to you about the same thing" he said and I lifted my head

"Huh?" I ask

"I just I can't keep this act up either y/n. I loved you obviously I have for the last three years but as you said the feelings just haven't been the same" he muttered

"But what about all the kisses you give me. All the I love you. You always say that to me"

"Y/n I was trying to see if there was anything there. Trying to fall back in love with you. Don't you ever wonder why we're never intimate with each other anymore"

"I don't know what to say. Like what are we supposed to do. We've both been acting like we love each other when we don't. And I think that are relationship was to much...for even us to me just friends" I say taking a deep breathe in.

"I know" Conor muttered. We both sat in an awkward silence, our eyes both tearing up but locked on each other's.

We both slowly lent forward. I just want to see if theirs a spark one more time. His lips collided with mine. The kiss only lasted half a minute before he pulled his lips away his forehead resting on mine.

He closed his eyes as he gently pulled his head away. Looking down. Exactly the same as before nothing

"There...there was nothing" I say my voice breaking and Conor nodded

"do you think it's best if we both just....break up" Conor asked his voice shaky

"It's for the best" I say. Once again the awkward silent wrapped around us. Before I spoke once more "I'll go get my stuff"

I got up of the couch tears welling up my eyes as I walked into the bedroom. I put all the stuff I needed now in a bag and decided I could get the stuff later

I got myself ready before walking back to the living room. Conor still hadn't moved an inch

"I'm sorry" he said walking over to me

"So am I. But it's probably better this way" I say

"Yeah" he nodded. He wrapped his arms around me and I done the same. Holding him for the last time. But no. No spark no nothing.

"Alright. I'll see you around Conor Maynard" I say opening the door

"Bye gorgeous" he said Mumbling the last part. But I saw him slyly roll his eyes. Obviously frustrated with his feelings just like Me.

But you never know. We might see each other one day and the feeling will change.