Guys Our Age (Wattys2017) (UNDER CONSTRUCTION)

Chapter 19: Unsteady (Hannah)

"Okay, so I've got a few movies, a tub of ice cream, and my laptop!"

Justin was laughing as he fell back onto my bed, immediately taking the ice cream from me and eating it, his eyes on the ceiling.

"Babe, you can't keep eating or Coach will kick you off the team." I poked at his flat stomach as I set my laptop on my lap and opened netflix.

He agreed to let me watch a rom-com first, as long as he got to watch any crappy action movie ever afterward. It was about halfway through the movie that a wave of emotions seemed to slam into me and I broke down crying like a child.

"Han? Hey, what's wrong?" Justin sat up immediately, wrapping his arms around me. I waited until I wasn't a snotty mess to turn to look at him.

"I don't know. I. . . I think I just let myself think too much." I tried to laugh, "Or maybe I'm on my period."

"It's because of your birthday, isn't it?" I avoided his questioning eyes as he hugged me against his chest, his lips against my forehead.

"It's the fifth year without her, Justin." I shut my eyes, "I always thought she might come back home, but if she hasn't by now. . . maybe she won't. Maybe-"

"She's an idiot." Justin cut me off, "She left both of your wonderful girls. Stop crying over her, Han. I hate seeing you cry."

"I hate seeing you cry." I retorted, "I want you to move out of there, Justin. I don't want you there anymore." He opened his mouth, ready to ask where he was supposed to say when I cut him off.

"You can live here with me and if Dad kicks you out, I'll come with you. We can find a place. You're smart and we'll get dorms wherever we go and-" He rested his index finger against my lips, his eyes searching mine.

"Calm down. You already promised Hail you'd live with her." He shook his head, "I love you, Hannah. You're my entire world, as cliche and stupid as that sounds, but I can't drag you down with me. I need to figure everything out on my own."

"Are you breaking up with me?" My words were barely above a whisper. He blinked, shocked.

"No, Hannah. Of course not. Babe, I love you. I love you as much as that tool loves your sister, I just grew a pair a long time ago and admitted it to my girl." I kissed him gently, sniffling as we laid back on my bed, my head against his chest as we let ourselves get drawn back into the fantasy world, escaping reality for a while.

*

I was stirred awake in the middle of the night by the movement of a blanket. I had always been a light sleeper, and feeling the blanket at my feet start to pull woke me up instantly. I opened my eyes, careful not to wake Justin as I shifted slightly, ready to find my sister standing at the foot of my bed. Instead I found my dad, setting laptop on top of my dresser and throwing a blanket over the both of us, obviously unaware I was awake. I forced my eyes shut when I felt his hand against my cheek.

"I'm sorry, Hannah. I'm so sorry." I never got to ask him why he was apologizing. When I sat up, he was already out the door, shutting the door gently behind him.

*

When I woke up the next morning, I was surprised to find Justin's side of the bed vacant, my arms wrapped around nothing. I groaned as I stumbled out of the room and into the hall, shielding my eyes from the bright light bleeding in through the blinds.

"Goodmorning, Sunshine." I looked up, my eyes falling on my boyfriend at the table, a cup of coffee in his hands. Even more surprising was Dad sitting across from him, a smile on his face.