Thorns

chapter fifty-four

rose.

I sigh once more as Zayn ignored yet another call, my lungs deflating as I sat on the sofa bed, hands rubbing at my tired eyes as I dialled once more.

After apologising and thanking Ben and Xavier for the pizza, as well as promising to make them dinner another time, I left to come back to my flat, hoping Zayn would be outside but he wasn't. He probably brought Lucy back to his flat but I was still worried, not able to sleep knowing I was alone in the flat. Nevertheless I got ready for bed, pulling out the sofa bed and laying there with my eyes fixed on the ceiling, hating how my insomnia combined with my worry for Lucy kept me awake.

Banging at my door made me jump out of bed, running towards the door and peeping out to see Lucy sleeping in Zayn's arms, his eyes narrowed into a glare which made goosebumps raise down my arms as I shivered in fear. I shut my eyes to breathe deeply before throwing open the door, allowing him to step inside and ignore me blatantly as he made his way to the bedroom and tucked Lucy in, unbuckling her shoes and placing them beside mine by the door which made my heart flutter. He doesn't throw a single glance towards my direction until he shuts the bedroom door and situated himself in the kitchen, elbows leaning against the countertop as he waited for me to focus on him.

"I think I'm gonna get you a new place, you were right, two locks isn't safe enough and there aren't enough bedrooms here." I am immediately angered by his words, knowing fully well that the decision wasn't based on anything that I had said but on who my neighbours were.

"I call bułlshit." I snap, watching his brows furrow into a glare. "I don't see how you think you can control who I choose to be in my life when you're going to get married, honestly Zayn, it's none of your business."

I felt smug as I watched him struggle for words, his nostrils flaring as he continued to glare at me.

"I'm not controlling you out of jealousy, I'm doing it for your protection seeming as you can't seem to find a decent fuçking man who isn't trying to abuse you." He snapped, his words cutting at me as I repressed myself from flinching at his harsh words.

"Why do you even care? You made it clear you wanted nothing to do with me so why should it matter what I do."

I watched as Zayn pinched at his nose, shutting his eyes momentarily before opening them and staring at me intensely, a fire burning in his mind as he cooked up a new recipe of hurt to poison my thoughts with. Before he could snap, a small voice was heard and we both had the same look as we turned towards our daughter in sync.

"Why you always argue?" Lucy stood at the entrance to the kitchen, her curly locks unruly from her sleep, still wearing the clothes she wore earlier today but they were more disheveled, her feet bare of socks and her fingers clutching at the hem of her tshirt timidly. I sigh when I notice the look of hurt in her eyes, hating how our arguments affected her and knowing she would have to grow up in a broken family-- she has grown up in a broken family.

"Hey Luce, did we wake you up? I'm so sorry. How about we change you into some comfy jammies and I'll come lay with you until you sleep again, aye?" I lower my voice so that it was softer, ignoring any eye contact with Zayn as I took hold of her small hand and lead her to the bedroom, helping her change and changing myself before I lay with my arms cradling her, allowing her to bury her face into my neck as I kissed her head softly.

"I love you," I say, my heart fluttering when she reciprocated my words before looking up at me with a grin.

We lay in silence, my ears perking when I hear movement but the door didn't slam, Zayn probably still in the flat. I don't think much about it, letting my mind rest even though I knew I wouldn't get much sleep, feeling Lucy's shallow breaths become heavier on my neck as she soon fell asleep, leaving me to stare into the darkness alone. I try to shut my eyes after a while, my ears beginning to ring from the silence as I begged my body to relax and my mind to clear as all I wanted was to sleep and not think.

My eyes snap open when I hear the door brushing against the carpet, light creeping into the room and slithering towards the corner as I see Zayn's silhouette, my eyes immediately shutting to avoid conversing with him any more. I hear his footsteps approach closer to the bed, my heart beginning to beat erratically as I tried to soothe myself and sloe my breathing.

"Goodnight love bug." I hear him say, his hand resting on the small of Lucy's back before he pulled away, I wasn't sure what he was doing as I kept still, squeezing my eyes tight when I felt his palm rest above my body covered by the duvet.

"I know you're awake Ro." His words bring chills to my body as I peeked up at him to see him doing the same, looking down at me with his hand still rested on my covered shoulder. I had nothing to say as I watched him watch me, my heart slowing and calming as the adrenaline seemed to leave my body.

"I'm sorry for being such a cûnt, I still care for you, both of you." He sighed when I still didn't reply, shuffling closer to Lucy when he chose to sit at the edge of the bed.

"I spoke to Perrie about things and-"

Please cancel the wedding, please tell me you love me.

"You can come to the wedding, you and Lucy." Zayn spoke, eyes watching to see my reaction.

I scoff at my inner thoughts, laughing that I thought that maybe he'd drop the wedding for me.

"Zee, it's really late, can we talk about this tomorrow." I yawn, surprised he didn't react when I called him by his nickname. He nodded, his hand pulling away from my shoulder. I barely noticed it was there after a while but now that it was gone I suddenly felt more alone, suddenly glad that the flat was small. I felt fire ignite under my skin when Zayn leaned down and pressed his lips to my forehead, feeling them pucker before he released letting out a small pop sound,
my heart picking up suddenly as if it was the gear throttle of the bike we used to ride.

"I'll swing by tomorrow, yeah? You try catch some sleep." He spoke, his actions rendering me speechless as I nodded in response.

"See you tomorrow." He smiled once more before he left, taking my breath and heart away with him as if I was falling in love for the first time again.

Oh you stupid girl...

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