Thorns

chapter thirty-eight.

rose. 

I wake up almost automatically at seven, on the dot. I am quick to clamber out of the bed and order food for everyone, especially Perrie. Her face- she looked so familiar without makeup. Surely my mind registered her as one of the slüts Carl had brought home. Of course I couldn't ask her that, Zayn would kick me out in a matter of seconds.  

"Rosie? What are you doing out of bed? Your ribs- get back in bed!" I felt like a scolded child as I stood and retreated back into my room, informing him that their breakfast was coming. Zayn follows me into my room and sits on the edge of the bed and studies my face for a few moments before speaking.

"You don't have to order us breakfast, you're injured, stay in bed."

"I have to- I do."

"Why? I never told you to order breakfast everyday?"

"You might kick me out, what use am I if I'm just an extra person, an extra room?"

"Ro, you don't have to earn your place here, I want you here."

"You don't. You just don't want me with Carl..."

"Rosie, what I'm trying to say, is that you don't need to do anything to stay around here, okay? I'm not Carl. I won't physically hurt you." But you will mentally hurt me... 

"Okay." My voice is almost at a whisper and Zayn looks at my with the same amount of sympathy you would give to someone who didn't have a roof over their head. Was I some sort of charity case?

"You should go back to Perrie, she hates when you're talking to me." I tell him, causing him to nod and slowly retreat.

I lower myself into a laying position and shut my eyes, wanting nothing more than sleep. I didn't want dark rings under my eyes and I definitely wanted my ribs to heal. I find my hands searching round the bed and realise I just wanted to hold Zayn again. I stop immediately, clasping my hands together and shutting my eyes. I don't feel arms wrap around me, and I don't feel myself falling asleep.

~*~ 

"Mm, Perrie." I hear him groan, my hands clasping over Lucy's ears. 

"Mummy what you do?" She giggled, thinking it was all a game.

"I'm just keeping your ears warm, silly!" I laugh quietly, clasping my hands over them once more. Every time Carl's slüts realised he had a family they never returned... Lucy and I had to stay quiet. Somtimes this reminded me of Anne Frank; how she had to stay silent throughout the day because people couldn't know she existed. Lucy suddenly squeals loudly, causing me to gasp, slowly removing my hands from her and bringing her to the bed. 

"Get under the covers, stay there until I say so." I demand, causing her eyes to widen, nodding immediately. I sit at the edge, staring down at the lump which was raising and lowering, quickly. I stroke at it, telling Lucy to calm down even though I wasn't myself.

I hear the door downstairs shut, and the door of our room is soon open, Carl's disheveled look and angered face made my face flush with heat as I stand immediately to my feet.

"Protecting your little girl again are we?" He grinned, cracking his knuckles

"C-Carl! It was all me, I didn't mean to make -um- Perrie leave" I squeak, cowering away as he stepped closer.

"You know what's worse?" He stepped closer to me, hand quick to grab a fistful of hair. I whimper when I'm brought to my toes as he straightens my posture like I was his puppet.

"I didn't even reach my high." He snarled, spitting in my face.

"And guess who's going to help me with that?" He asked rhetorically, a wicked smirk permanent on his face.

A squeak of pain escapes my lips as I'm tugged forcefully back to his room and my clothes are ripped off of my body leaving me into a more vulnerable position. I wasn't thinking about the pain, my mind wandered back... Lucy.

~*~ 

"Rosie!" My eyes snap open and I scream. I blink up to see brightl eyes, worry swimming throughout the hazel.

"Are you okay?" He asked gently, his hand trailing down my cheek.

"It felt so real." I shake my head, squeezing my eyes shut and opening them once more to remind myself it was a dream. It may of happened, but it was all a dream.

"You were screaming for Perrie..." Zayn's eyes search my face for a form of answer and I find my mouth gaping open.

"Zayn, I need to tell you something..." I murmur, shuffling my body back and creating distance between us. He was going to hate me for this...

-*- 

Zayn let out a bitter laugh, hand quick to clasp over his mouth. 

"Are you that jealous of our relationship you make up lies to destroy it? How the fück would Perrie of met up with Carl who lives in London without me noticing! If she knew him I would've met you earlier!"

"Y-you were supposed to meet up with me though- y-you promised, remember?"

"Oh, back to that promise, Ro! We were fifteen! All of that was nothing, do you hear me? Nothing! I've changed from then! I'm different now! I don't do things that are illegal! You do know we took drugs and drank alcohol when we were fifteen! We had séx, when we were fifteen!" 

Nothing.

Nothing. 

All of that was nothing.

I stare at him, trying to keep his words coherent in my mind. Lucy's nothing, we're nothing. I'm nothing. I'm 99.9% sure Carl was with Perrie, I'm so sure and that dream/nightmare/flashback proved it. Zayn is still laughing and I find myself feeling more embarrassed.

"Anymore to say? Are you pregnant with another of my children? Are you pregnant with one of Carl's children? Any more to confess?"

"I'm not lying. I'm 99.9% sure!"

"And where's this 0.1% eh? In the truth?"

"Zayn, you don't understand-"

"Oh, I do understand! You're jealous!"

"Zayn, listen to me!"

"I've heard enough of you actually! I think Niall has a spare room, maybe you can tell him these stories, while you're at it.. he's single! Go for him!" 

"Wh-what?" I was beyond confused, what was he talking about?

"He's single, go for him! I'm tired of you chasing after me!"

"I'm not- I- I'm going to bed." I lay down, squeezing my eyes shut. He told me he wanted me here, and now he just wanted me gone.

"I'm going out to get you some sleeping pills or something." I hear him mumble and I feel the first few tears glide onto my pillow. They weren't tears of sadness- no. They were tears of anger.