Thorns

chapter thirty-two.

rose.

Carl had a plan, and I fell for it.

He made sure he was nice, bringing me out for food on dates, buying me a few nice clothes. For the four days Zayn was here. As soon as he knew Zayn wasn't nearby he turned horrible.

I sat in my room, all of Lucy's things were gone. I was sat on the toilet seat, dabbing at my bleeding thigh. I was so naive. I couldn't believe I was so stupid. I just felt so useless being watched by my own daughter who couldn't even look at me.

My rib was nowhere near being healed, sitting up in the mornings hurt so I now resorted to sleeping sitting upwards, leaned against the wall. The door was blocked and the window was broken. I was stuck in a room. I got a meal a day which usually was a bowl of left-over spaghetti. At night I heard Carl with a girl. Crying made things worse, it hurt all over. My lips were cracked and drinking stung.

Death honestly sounded like the only answer.

I couldn't do it. I was so afraid. Afraid of the unknown, the known- everything.

I hear a door slam and I wince, throwing the tissue in the toilet and heaving myself to my trembling knees. My door has unlocked and thrown open, Carl giving me a sly smile.

"Hey babe, how was your day?" He snickered, walking in with a plate of noodles with chicken curry on top. My eyes widen at the sight of meat. Was today different?

"Happy birthday babe." He kisses my lips tightly before thrusting the plate into my hands.

"Thank you so much." I whisper to him, grabbing the fork.

"Enjoy being twenty-one." He sniggers before the door slams.

If I was twenty-one today... That meant it was Lucy's birthday next week, when they were in France. Fücking France. I stab at my noodles, making sure I was eating slowly so there was a chance of me getting full.

The chicken bursted with so much flavour I was moaning. It just tasted so good. I tasted the saltiness of my tears at the fact I was happy over fücking chicken.

"Happy fücking birthday." I spit out, shoving a forkful of noodles into my mouth. I rememembered my sixteenth birthday, my last birthday of happiness before the next week happened- when Lucy was born.

~*~

"Happy birthday babe, it's a milestone birthday! You're sixteen!" Carl kisses me numerous times, causing me to giggle.

"I got loads of food for you and the small one." He grins, stroking my prominent stomach.

"I got you something." He smiles once more, producing a cake from the kitchen, causing me to gasp. Printed on the cake was a picture of us together, kissing. When I had finally understood that Zayn wasn't coming back, and that Carl was always there for me.

"I love you." I squeal, wrapping my arms tightly around him. He does the same, pressing his lips to mine.

"I love you too."

-*-

"Tell her to shut the fûck up!" He growls, shaking my body. He soon falls asleep again, leaving the high pitched cries of Lucy. I drag my exhausted body from our shared bed, stumbling into Lucy's room and carrying her, holding her closer to me. I was expecting her too look more like me, to have my appearance more than his- but no. It was obvious who had the dominant genes, who she would grow up looking like. Carl wasn't very happy about that...

"Go to sleep Luce, please. I'm tired and you don't want to wake up Car- your d-daddy." She doesn't listen, eyes screwed up, mouth ajar.

"Lucy please." I sigh, stroking her hair back.

And that night was the first time Carl had struck me. I had disturbed his sleep and he had woken up late. Lucy was bewildered when I bawled, she blinked up at me with her unique eyes as I held my face in pain. She watched me get beaten up everyday with her curious eyes, nothing ever changed.

And from that day on, I became broken.

~*~

zayn.

It was her birthday.

She was finally twenty one. The fact I only spent her fifteenth birthday with her and not when she was sixteen, eighteen or twenty-one bothered me. They were her milestone birthdays! She was probably with Carl, having a nice meal out and a fancy ass restaurant. While I was here Stockholm. We were going to Copenhagen tomorrow... then after that it was France. We were celebrating Lucy's birthday in France. I don't know how but it was going to be big.

I gnaw at my nail, staring off into the distance. Rose was probably out there somewhere, probably kissing Carl thank you for such an amazing birthday. She probably was wearing a dress as beautiful as the one I picked out for her, maybe her hair was done nicely. I rang her a few times but she didn't answer. I was currently staring at Carl's number, curious to think if he would answer.

"Fück it." I mutter, dialling immediately.

"Hello?" I hear his gruff voice.

"Hello, can I speak to Rose?"

"Who the fück is this?"

"Um, her father."

"Didn't you leave her?"

"I just want to say a quick happy birthday, please."

"Wait." He mutters. Yes! I hear a few incoherent words before her voice is heard.

"Hello? Dad?" I hear a meek voice.

"It's Zayn."

"What? I knew it sounded too good to be true!" She muttered, hurt evident in her small mumble.

"Happy birthday, I came to call and just say Carl must be spoiling you to bits!"

"Yeah, he is."

"What did he do? Did you go out and eat something fancy?"

"Um yeah, I ate chicken curry on noodles and it was amazing."

"What did he get you?"

"Um, chicken?" Her voice squeaked into a higher pitch.

"As a pet?"

"No, the food? I haven't had chicken in ages."

"He's treating you fine isn't he?"

"Yes, why wouldn't he?"

"Okay, well I have to go now, talk to you another time?"

"By-" She hangs up, without even saying goodbye. I felt like I had the need to do something, but I couldn't thing what. Before I could think further into it, the phone rings once more.

"Zayn, please help me. I'm on my period but Carl won't stop-" I hear a scream before the call ends abruptly. I begin to panic, wondering what was happening. I immediately run over to Louis' room knocking on the door quickly.

My feet taps urgently as I hear people talking, the door unlocking. My fingers run through my hair as the door finally opens, revealing Louis.

"Please look after Lucy, I'll be back. I just need to take a quick trip.

"Where are you going?" He shouts but I'm already running.

"London!" I reply before turning the corner, my shoes skidding quickly.

rose you make me cry

i'm so desperate for love ｡

ily, ly me back pls

~chamrock jack xoxoxo