Thirsty

Min Yoongi

I sit in the office in front of Mrs. Kim's desk. My eomma, I guess, but I've never seen her that way. I hate this woman. I hate her with a passion that consumes me. She's too blind to see the fury behind my smile, though, as I give her my paperwork. She's not happy with me but I could care less. I'm doing what I have to.
"Yoongi, honey, why are you doing this? Please reconsider. You're so close to graduating." She pleads while holding my withdrawal papers. I dropping out of this school and leaving. It's the right choice. It's much better this way..that way I won't be tempted by him. I saw him in the hall earlier and just about ripped his clothes off in front of the whole fucking school.
Almost claimed him before everybody. That would have been a terrible mistake so I ignored him and left. I didn't go to class but instead filled out my drop out papers. Although I haven't reached full vampire maturity I'm still old enough to make my own decisions and no one can stop me.
"I'm sorry, eomma, but I'm not changing my mind." I just about fucking choke on that word but cover it quickly with indifference. "I'm finish out the next two days then tell my brothers goodbye." I stand and force myself to bow. "Thank you for taking me in and raising me as your own son. I'm very grateful and will work extremely hard to pay you back." I force out through clinches teeth.
She stands and walks around her desk to hug me.
I stiffen.
"Yoongi. You think I can't feel the animosity you feel towards me and your appa? I don't understand what we've done to anger you so but I truly hope one day you can open up and talk to us. We love you very much." She sniffles as she releases me. I swallow hard and nod once before leaving her behind.
I will miss brothers when I leave. I know I don't treat them well but they've always done so for me. I regret subconsciously grouping then with those people. The dark ones. I think about Taehyung and his happiness, his innocence. I'll miss his annoying pestering.

I'll miss Seokjin and his stupid narcissistic personality, and Namjoon with his genius know it all persona.

No matter what I know they love me and I love them as well, though, I don't show it. I'm going to enjoy these last couple days with him before leaving them behind. I'll miss...him as well. Just thinking his name causes a pang in my chest. I'm letting him go to live his human life. I know Hoseok and Taehyung will take care of him human or not.
I know he'll make it through this last year of school and be returned to his family to finish growing and find a love he deserves and get married and be happy. He should be happy. His cute innocent face doesn't belong in my hands. I will do nothing but taint his soft perfection and I've destroyed enough of him already.
I return to my bedroom and completely ignore the messy bedsheets. It only makes me think of last night. He was...simply beautiful, amazing. Now it seems like a crazy dream-or nightmare. He's too untouchable to me now as it should have always been. I wish I could go back to the first time I spoke to him in the woods beside my hideout and should have just let him go.
I know he was running away. I should have let him go as far as he could run without interfering. But no-i had to be selfish. I had to crave something that was never meant to be mine. I hate myself. More than I usually do. I know I'm going to hurt him when I leave but I'm doing this for his own good.
I have things I need to do in my life and it will more than likely end in my demise at some point and I'm not dragging him down to hell with me no matter what I've thought before. I can't do it. I've never cared about hurting other people, in fact I relished bringing pain to others but not with him.
I'd like to believe it's all because of of the stupid bite and maybe-hopefully-it'll go away when we get some space from each other. Besides, now that I'm leaving to join the human world I can drink from anyone I want without worrying about consequences. I should be excited about it. Instead I just feel empty. But to be honest that's nothing new. I'm always empty. Soulless. Living only to avenge my loved ones who left me behind.
I promise you eomma. I will make things right and join you soon.