Thirsty

Min Yoongi

         I fucked up. I let my anger control me and hurt him. I just lost control when he tried to deny me. Deny me?! He's not allowed to deny me what belongs to me. And he does. We both know that. So I let fury consume me and I snapped, dragging him down to my level like I feared I would. It was only a matter of time.
        I used him much too hard and he passed out from pain and exhaustion. After I put his clothes back on him, I carried him surreptitiously to my room and laid him on my bed, tucking the blankets around him. I fucked up more than I first realized as I take in his ruined appearance. Bite marks litter his neck as well as dark bruises where I strangled him.
      Stripes of dried blood cover his neck, chest, back, and ass along with his shirt. I strip his clothes off and clean him gently with a soft cloth, watching with self-loathing as the pure white fabric slowly turns red. Quite the metaphor.
      After cleansing him of the blood and semen, I place an ice pack over his bruises and apply ointment to his swollen abused hole. I sit back and watch his chest rise and fall slowly. His face is so beautiful and pure in the moonlight, even puffy from crying he still exquisite.
        While he sleeps, I pack my bags. Throwing my clothes inside messily not caring about neatness. I also grab a few essentials I can't leave behind, planning on leaving everything else. I spend the rest of the night sitting beside the bed watching Jimin sleeping peacefully without nightmares like me to torment him.
       I ruin everything I touch and he's no exception. I run my fingers through his soft locks and kiss his lips one last time. As soon as the sun begins to rise through my window I allow myself one last cigarette, keeping my eyes on him all the while. This is the last time I'll ever see such perfection and I hate myself for leaving such a bitter memory for him to have of me. Necessary, though.
       He'll wake up and hate me forever and I'll go on knowing that I forced him away from me for good. I won't have to worry about him getting hurt chasing after my demons. I stay still like this until my cigarette is nothing more than ash then pick up my bags and gather everything. When I have no more excuses for staying any longer, I look back at my love one last time, feeling the familiar pain in my chest as I leave him behind me forever.
      Forever kept only in my memories for the oncoming torture I'll inevitably face. I close the door softly behind me and go straight to Seokjin'a room. I knock gently and he answers quicker than expected. His eyes widen in surprise to see me then to confusion as he notices my bags.
        "Yoongi, what's going on?" He asks. I set my bags down and shock us both by hugging him. He returns the embrace and I give him my signature asshole smirk.
         "I dropped out. I'm leaving, hyung. I'll miss you." I tell him and he inhales sharply at my admission.
         "But why-"
         "I have reasons but I can't share them with you. I'm so sorry. I hope I can talk to you again soon." I know I won't but it seems like the right thing to say. He tears up and hugs me again and nods me farewell as I leave him to do the same for Namjoon. He rolls his eyes at me and calls me lazy and I just laugh and agree.
       Neither one of us are good at saying goodbye so we just part ways civilly planning to see each other soon as if I'm just going on a short trip. I nod and tell them to say goodbye to Taehyung for me. I don't want to be asked a million questions and listen to his cries for me to stay. Taehyung has always been clingier to me than the others and I'm already broken up enough.
       They promise me they'll tell him I'm sorry and I get on my way. I'm leaving a day early but it doesn't really matter. What's done is down. I'll regret the way I treated Jimin but there's nothing I can do now. I truly hope he hates me and wishes me dead.

      It's not until I'm on the train heading far away from my hidden vampire world that I've come to realize something horrible. As quick as the thought enters my mind a pain in my chest so severe it nearly knocks me to the ground overtakes me. I gasp for breath, glad it's too early for others to be on the train. I suffer alone as I clutch my chest and fight from blacking out.
Jimin. I moan in agony as I fall to the ground.
Jimin...I can feel his pain as surely as if it's my own. I fucked up. In my lust crazed mind I forgot the most important rule in our world. I fed from him while having sex. I've bonded him to me. Permanently. Not only that but I can feel it...he's dying.
      I glance out the window and know even if I want to go back I can't. I'm too far away. By the time I'd make it back he'd already be long gone.
I'm s-sorry my Jimin...please forgive me for destroying your life..I'll never forgive myself... these thoughts consume me as I black out into oblivion.