"Damita, how can you say that? I know you have some sort of feelings for me."he sighed.
"I do have some kind of feeling for you, but it's not love. A women only has one true love in her lifetime and mine is gone. I'm sorry Trevor. I never meant to hurt you. You're a good dude."She replied placing a hand on his cheek, then softly kissing the other one.
"I get it. I guess your heart died with him."He shrugged and started to walk away from her.
She sighed and looked down at her phone. It was getting late, so she was about ready to go home. She was in desperate need of a bubble bath and a glass of wine. That was the best form of relaxation for her.
"Are you guys about ready to go?"She asked, picking up her purse as she approached the table where her children were sitting.
"Yeah, I guess."Amaru shrugged and got out of his seat. Damita took her wallet out of her and put some miner down on the table to pay for their food.
"Mommy, are you upset with me?"Aaliyah asked as they followed their mother to her car.
"You shouldn't have done that Aaliyah. I was going to talk to him whenever I was ready. This definitely wasn't the time or the place, but no I'm not upset with you. I know how much you like Trevor, but Trevor won't be around anymore."She explained. "I broke up with him."
"Did you really Ma? How come?"Amaru asked.
"This may be hard for you guys to understand, but my heart was never in Trevor and I's relationship. It was a mental thing. I thought he would make me stop missing your father, but that did nothing but make things worse because all I could think about is how he wasn't him and he never will be."She sighed and looked straight ahead at the road.
Most of the times these feelings only came to Damita late at night when she was alone, but lately she couldn't control them. Her thoughts were barging into her everyday life and she had to control it before she ended up in the all white room again.
The whole ride home after Damita's explanation was silent. The kids understood what was about to happen with their mother and all they could do was be there for her.
"I'm going to bed guys. Wake me up to take you guys to practice in the morning."Damita sighed, grabbing her glass of wine and then disappearing up the stairs.
"Nice going Aaliyah, now she's going to be all depressed."Amaru smacked his lips and pushed her.
"She was already sad dummy. She just didn't let us see."Aaliyah rolled her eyes and pushed him back.
"Yeah, but you made it worse. You know how serious mommy's depression can get! We have to keep her happy. Do you want to go live with Katherine?"Amaru asked in a high pitched voice.
"Of course not. I didn't know. I thought seeing Trevor would make her happy."Aaliyah sighed and started to pout.
"I got an idea. We're getting up early tomorrow."Amaru smiled and started to shake his head.
Damita sat back in the tub with tears rolling down her face. "I don't get it babe. Why can't I move on."Damita sighed and closed her eyes
Her imagination made her husband appear in the tub with her. As if they were having an actual conversation.
"I been looking for you. I miss you big head ass girl." he chuckled and shook his head.
"I thought you were coming? You told me you were coming."She sighed.
"I told you that I would come when the time is right. It'll be sooner than you think."He laughed.
"I'm starting to believe that I am actually crazy. A regular person would think I'm sitting here talking to myself."She laughed.
"It don't matter. You and I are talking. In here. You probably won't even be saying this stuff out loud."He replied tapping his finger against his head.
"I see you out here cheating on me."Amaru laughed.
"Shut your rock head ass up, because I broke up with him. I didn't want him anyway."She laughed and shrugged.
"Yeah, Yeah, Yeah. You broke that mans heart? He probably went home and cried."He laughed.
"What were you thinking anyway? That nigga is lame. Corny ass."He laughed.
"Shut up!"She laughed and splashed some water on him.
"I miss you baby girl."He sighed and stood up.
"I miss you too." "Where you going?"She asked eagerly.
"You gotta get out of this tub before you accidentally drown. You too comfortable."He chuckled.
"I love you."he said before leaning over to kiss her forehead.
Damita then forcefully opened her eyes and started do gasp for air. She almost went under.
"Okaaay. Nomore wine for me."She yawned and turned on the shower so that she could bathe and get to bed.
Once she was done she slipped on one of Amaru's old t-shirts that still smelled like him. She never washed his clothes and all the things that were clean were still hanging up in the closet.
She then kissed the picture of him on her nightstand and cuddled with her pillow until she fell asleep.
So here's an update for you guys. 💓
PS: I WENT TO SEE JANET SATURDAY. She was fucking AMAAAAAZING!
