My dear loser: InSun's Playlist

Track 14: Running away

I looked at P'Ken with guilt in my eyes. What have I done this time? I'm tired of people not telling me what they're being angry with me at is. I'm tired of people avoiding me without telling me their reason.

'P'" I started. "What is it?" I forced him, remembering our walk back in the school this morning. The walk when P'Ken didn't say a single word.

P'Ken looked away, trying to avoid my eyes. "Nothing. It wasn't important." P'Ken denied yet again. "Wait, you called me P' again!" He raised his hand towards my head, but I quickly grabbed it with my right hand and shook my head then gave a deep sigh.

"I'll call you P' if I want to. You can call me whatever name you want to call me, P'Ken." I pursed my lips, cooling myself down. "I'm sorry if I've made you angry. I'm sorry if I did something to you. If you wanna avoid me, then go. I'm tired P'Ken. I'm tired of chasing after people who don't want my presence."

I saw P'Ken's eyes widen as I said those words. I'm not usually like this, but when I reach my limit, I just couldn't help but blurt the things that I've been keeping to myself.

"Hey," P'Ken reached for my hand,"It was really nothing. Don't be angry, Nong Sun? Na Na?" P'Ken smiled.

I pushed his hand away, still unconvinced of his words. I nodded at him and smiled.

"Take care going back home." I told P'ken and left him standing there while looking at me going back inside the school.

The school was already out of students but of those who left to do their academic stuffs. I traced back my steps towards where Peach, Nam, and Oh were.

Another fight again. Seriously? When will these fights end?

"What do you think you were doing In? You just stood there and allowed Copper to hurt Nong Jey!" Nam was standing along with Oh and Peach while In was on the other side of the table, standing, but looking down to the ground(again).

"But it was really Jey's fault Nam!" In shouted in return.

"You want us to believe you huh?" Nam then noticed me behind In's back.

In looked surprised when he turned. I just stared at him with expression that even I didn't know what. I waited for a moment for In to talk, but he didn't.

I closed my eyes and breathed. What? Did I expect him to talk to me? When I opened my eyes again, I directed them to In. "Leave, or you'll regret meeting me." I said, with threatening tone.

In paused for a moment, then closed his mouth tightly before finally leaving.

"Let's go home." I said to the other three plainly. I picked my bag and wore it then started walking without waiting for Nam or Oh or Peach.

---

My aunt said something as soon as I arrived home. I think she was arguing about my books, or DVDs, I wasn't sure. I wasn't listening. I went straight to my room and laid my back on my bed.

I raised my hand open to the ceiling. I noticed how good my watch was with my wrist. I touched the necklace of me and In and slowly, I closed my heavy eyes.

I was on the verge of crying once again. I can feel my tears trying to flow out of my eyes. My heart's beating faster.

I pulled my hand back towards my forehead and stayed still while I was fighting with my tears, trying to make my breathing still.

I wouldn't cry again because of In or P'Ken or anyone. The fight that I gained strength on was finally won by me. The tears didn't come out and my mind has finally come to rest as my consciousness drifted away.

I ran away from the thoughts that has been worrying me, but I think it's better to run away than be broken for the rest of the night. I have slept through my worries, but still, I have successfuly pushed my tears back.

---

It's the second day of our punishment. Miss Kraimin, who was in a bad mood, brought us to the field and told us to pick every trash that we're gonna see.

All of us paired with another one except Saunk who was the excess among us nine.

The sun was hot but Miss Kraimin, after her first class(which is the class of us) didn't leave us and kept on watching us. She blows her whistle every time one of us sits or takes a short rest.

I paired with Nam while Oh paired with Peach, Copper with Tae and In with Lot.

Our community service hasn't ended yet even though the sun's already at its peak. We know that Miss Kraimin's already feeling hot herself, yet she still managed to keep an eye on us.

And Copper, who still got an extra energy couldn't give us a rest on his bullying too. When Ainam and I or Oh and Peach passes them, he'll immediately throw some of the trashes that they picked and told us to pick them.

"Are you okay Nam?" I asked Ainam when I saw her breathing hardly after Copper's fourth teasing.

Nam couldn't answer. Her breathing started to become harder than the previous one until her eyes shut and she collapsed to the ground. Even after her bold personality, anyone who has been put in this field for hours would surely give up.

"Nam. Nam!" I tried calling her, but Ainam's totally lost her consciousness. I began on carrying Nam on my back. It was hard. I couldn't run fast and carry her at the same time with my slim and tired body, but still I tried to move faster.

In saw me carrying Nam. He ran after me, to help me carry Nam, but a much faster boy grabbed Nam from my back.

Copper held Nam in his hands and ran three times faster than I was running. The bully Copper who has always given Nam a hard time brought her to the clinic and we followed him.

"She's resting." Copper said when he went out of the clinic room. We preferred to stay outside to not bother the Nurse that has taken care of her.

"You're all gonna return to the field after an hour." Miss Kraimin said without pity.

"But Ainam's not fine yet!" In stood up against our teacher's order.

"That's not my problem." Miss Kraimin fiercely told In.

"Miss Kraimin?" The nurse who looked after Nam interrupted her,"I don't think it's good for the girl to go back there. Could you please excuse her for now?"

Miss Kraimin who was still looking annoyed, removed her eyeglasses and went out of the clinic while we sat there and took a rest.

"Copper saved Nam." Oh whispered to only be heard by me and Peach.

Peach smiled, happy by what Copper did then nodded.

I nodded too, still surprised by Copper's actions.