It took me a while to forget about Ken—and when I say a while, it means never. The guilt never left my mind. Wherever I go, I see Ken, whenever I move my body, I can hear his laugh. I’ve been in this room for a while now. It’s been three weeks since Ken died, it’s been three weeks as well since I’ve been in our room. I only eat when I need to. I only go outside when I have to. My friends were calling me on the first week of my absence, but after that, I didn’t dare to charge my phone anymore. Turning my phone on means seeing my wallpaper that is a picture of me and Ken. I wanna go back to the night that it all happened. I want to go back.
-----
“Those idiots never fail to disappoint me!” I said.
“It’s alright P’, we can still play right?” Tey said while we were outside the computer shop.
My classmates said that they won’t be playing anymore.
“Yeah, but I’m really angry!” I shouted since it is the first time that I brought Tey here and I wanna brag like a pro! “Do you drink? I think I want to drink instead.”
“Yeah?” Tey doubtedly answered.
“Let’s go have a drink then!” I told him,
“Let’s drink on my apartment.
“Okay P’” Tey answered.
It was still early when we got to my apartment. I showed Tey our room. “This is my room and Ken’s.” I told him.
“You share the same bed P’?” Tey asked.
“Yeah. He’s my boyfriend.”
“Oh.” Tey looked sad. “Do you love him P’?”
I smiled then answered, “Ken? Hmmm. Well, for me, Ken is the most important person in my life right now. If you call that love, then yes. I love Ken.”
Tey smiled. Then walked towards the bed and sat. “So, where’s the drink?” He gladly asked then laid his bag on the table beside the bed, covering the picture frame of Ken and me.
I brought out the drink right after. While Tey was busy preparing the ones that I brought out, I changed my pants in front of him. I saw how wild Tey was looking at my body. I know Tey likes me, but I don’t really care.
I slung my shirt on my shoulder and faced Tey with a smile, "thirsty huh?" I teased him then walked and sat beside him.
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We started drinking then, until our topic ended to the video games again.
“Here, look at this console that I just bought!” I exclaimed with dizzy sight. I’m already drunk.
“Woah. It’s really cool P! Can I try?”
“Sure! Just set it up there! I’m feeling dizzy already.”
Tey set it up all by himself while I lie on the bed.
"What now P’? Drunk already?! Hahaha!” Tey said.
“What?! Who’s drunk? Me? No way!” I stood up.
“Really? Wanna have a round?” Tey raised one of the gaming controls. “Whoever wins can ask one the loser of something”
“What? So easy! Deal!” I replied.
“And the loser can’t say no the winner’s request!” Tey pushed even more.
“Yeah! No worries. I won’t say no, so qould you!”
So we started the game. I didn’t know how long it lasted. The next thing I knew, my character was already lost.
“You’re so weak P’! hahahaha” Tey shouted.
“You’re just a cheater!” I said, then lie on the bed again.
“So, how about my request?” Tey lied down beside me.
“Yeah. Ask whatever you want and I’ll give it to you.”
“And you can’t say no. Right?” Tey pushed. I nodded with my eyes closed.
I felt Tey neared his lips on my ears then mumbled, “then, let me see little Pot under your pants.”
My eyes shot. “What? What are you talking about?!”
“I thought you can’t say No?”
“I didn’t say no.” I said. "Yet"
“So?”
“But…” I thought again, I know Tey likes me, but I didn’t think that it will end up to this. I looked at the clock. It’s still seven. Ken won’t be home till 11, but still I don’t know what to say. I already told Tey thatI can't say no, but I don't want to cheat Ken.
Tey stood up and pushed me back to the bed. I just closed my eyes as Tey slowly pulled my pants off.
The only remaining thing on me was my white underwear to which Tey was sniffing.
“Wait. Tey, I don’t want to hurt Ke—mmmhh.” Tey continued sniffing my underwear.
“You can’t say No P. Just be still” Then Tey finally pulled down my underwear showing hard little Pot
“Oh P’. Little Pot si quite big.”
Tey said then sniffed little Pot.
“Can I say hi to little Pot P?” Tey said.
“N-n-no.” I answered.
“But P, you can’t say no right?” So Tey continued, he put little Pot in his mouth and sucked it for a good five minutes.
“It’s so good P’” Tey said.
“Please Stop.” I said, but Tey continued.
“Tey? What are you doing?” A familiar voice that clearly not Tey’s, said.
Tey suddenly stopped and put little Pot out from his mouth.
“Pot…” That voice was the one that I want to be doing this sucking thing, but he is there on the door.
Ken ran out. I looked at Tey, he stared back at me then smiled and licked my balls once more.
“What the f*ck!” I shouted then pushed Tey hardly that the TV on his back fell on him.
“What happened? What did I just do?! Wh-What?!” I didn’t know what to do. I immediately went for something to cover my crotch and went after Ken.
Then my demise happened. Because of that, I lost the one that I love the most.
---
I don’t know how will I be able to get over this. Right now, I just wanna die. I don’t deserve to be living like this. I stood from my bed, then I remember Ken again. I remember how happy we were until the incident with Tey.
I should be dead now…
I should die…
I should kill myself…
Yes… I should kill myself.
I went for the doorknob and twisted it.
Then, I heard things moving on the kitchen.
What is it? I thought. What’s happening?
I slowly walked towards the kitchen, “Who’s there?” I called.
The sound stopped, then I paced closer.
I heard someone humming.
“Who’s thaaaat?!” I shouted.
Then I turned the last corner and I saw him, “Ken?” I said, surprised.
“Good morning Pot.” The face of the one that I miss the most greeted me.
