If It Never Happened ⚣

Chapter 1- October 19th 2016

˜I tried really hard,˜
I promise. But one day I just woke up and I couldn't handle it ˜anymore- Unknown˜

True P.O.V

I glance at the pills sitting in the medicine cabinet, the urge to grab the pills and chug them all and never wake up again. I couldn't grab the pills, I couldn't force myself to grab those pills.

Something always held me back, and right now only two things did, Bryan and Kyle. Those were the only two things in my life even remotely worth living.

I close the medicine cabinet with a heavy sigh not wanting to close it and simply die here and now and not have to deal with my lives bullshit.

I look at myself in the mirror finding myself slightly disgusted with what I see. I had dead looking pale skin, ugly green eyes, and bleachy looking blonde hair that legit doesn't look natural but somehow it is. This is why I don't like looking at myself in the mirror when it isn't necessary. This wasn't necessary, it was almost never necessary.

I look away from the mirror, a look of disgust plastered on my face because I hated looking at myself. It probably started when the bullying got really bad when the bullying went past just being words spoke. When the bullying got past that and into the abuse area and portion of bullying.

That is where my insecurity started. The bullying, the abuse at home, and everything else in my life combined.

"Hurry up!" A loud banging noise on the bathroom door startled me out of my self-disgust train of thought and turned towards the door where Chris was banging at me loudly. "I'm not going to be late because of your pathetic ass!!"

Subtle brother, really.

I legit can feel the love.

I turn towards the door and walk towards it with my shoulders slumped, as I was already having a bad day and the day has just begun.

I open the door and walk out, but not without a nice loving, hard shove from my only older sibling. If I had been shoved any harder I would have fallen but thank god I managed to catch myself.

I gave Chris a slight frown and I knew my eyes were revealing more than they should, before I dropped my gaze and walked back to my room, no longer wanting to be in his presence any longer than I have to and that time limit is going on longer than I would usually allow. In return, Chris removes himself from my presence by entering the bathroom.

Downstairs I could hear faint singing of my mom and Madisyn, both of which could work on there singing. I used to do that with mom. I hadn't been that old but I remembered it. Me and mom, together, singing songs that played during the television movies that mom loved.

I missed those days, the days before I turned five, the days I actually felt like I actually belonged in this family, and the days before my bullying started, before Union and everyone else came along and ruined everything. At that age, the twins had been maybe approaching a year old, probably slightly younger than that.

I wish those days were still around but I know they aren't. Those days are long gone. Those days will more than likely never be seen again. My family is never going to change, why would they? They have no reason to want to change themselves, their happy with how things are currently going, and I? No absolutely not, I'd love to be considered anything other than a mistake but I've grown used to it, I mean who doesn't? Over time everything begins to blur together and that's what's currently happening to me, once you reply the same things over and over again you slowly become numb to it all, but it still rips the wound open a little more regardless of the fact you can't feel it anymore.