DEH Oneshots/drabbles/shitposts

Think Of Me (Kleinsen) (Requested)

Evan Hansen was waiting silently in the wings, wishing he hadn't signed up for his community theatre's First Ever Gender-Bent Phantom Of The Opera! It wasn't the fact that he auditioned that made him so upset with himself. It was more the sad fact of: "Oh, my god. I got the lead." And now, if he were being completely, utterly truthful, he would take it back in a heartbeat. It wasn't even because Evan thought that playing Christine was a bad thing. It was more that being Christine involved a four octave, give or take, vocal range, that Evan hat to preserve and keep utterly perfect.

And now it was closing night, Evan had drunk about four cups of tea before the show's opening, and there were broadway scouts in the audience.

Evan loved performing. The stage was the one place he felt comfortable. It was as if, he wasn't Evan anymore, and that allowed him to escape himself for a while. But when casting directors and talent scouts are nitpicking your every move, would you not get a bit afraid to go on?

At least that night was their biggest audience yet. He liked big audiences. They offered less time after the show for direct judgement. He would stage door every night, and he would always get the usual: "Stick to Men's parts." But it was much worse when there was a smaller audience, allowing more time for people to critique and criticize his every move.

"Christian Daaé could sing it." That was his cue. "He's been taking lessons from a great teacher." His costar, Jeremy hummed, nudging Evan center stage.

"What, A chorus boy?" A girl by the name of Azure chimed, looking directly at Evan, sighing. "Andrea this is doing nothing for my nerves."

Evan acted like he was hurt by the comment, but in all seriousness, he was staring out into the audience, his hands shaking as he began to sing.

Think of me
Think of me fondly
When we've said goodbye.

His eyes scanned the audience, slowly adjusting to the pitch black darkness. He looked ones for anyone to focus on.

Remember me
Once in a while
Please promise me you'll try.

Evan felt his heart rate speed up, looking at the black camera in the back of the room, recording his performance, which he could only guess was to review later. Oh, God.

When you find
That once again you long
To take your heart back and be free

Evan let his voice swiftly climb to the high note, not a crack to be found. He smiled widely when he realized that the tea he drank only hours before was doing its job.

If you ever find a moment
Spare a thought for me.

He let the music take over what e felt at that moment, stepping further upstage, leaving the judge mental faces of his costars characters behind. He felt his lips twitch into a smile when he looked out again.

We never said
Our love was evergreen
Or as unchanging as the sea.

And then his life was nearly ruined.

But if you can still remember
Stop and think of me.

There, sitting in the audience, was Evan's high school sweetheart: Jared Kleinman, pencil in hand staring at Evan with a smile on his face and a notebook in his lap.

Think of all the things we've shared and seen
Don't think about the way things might have been

Think of me
Think of me waking
Silent and resigned

Imagine me
Trying too hard to
Put you from my mind.

Evan nearly choked, remembering how he and Jared had loved each other so much, until Jared had moved to New York with his family. He never thought he'd see him again, and now, here he is, his eyes gleaming with Evan's reflection in them.