DEH Oneshots/drabbles/shitposts

Dirty (Zoe Murphy)

TW: Mentions of Rape, suicide and self harm, underaged drinking, read at your own risk.

If there was one thing Zoe Murphy hadn't felt for a long time, it was clean.

Zoe hadn't been clean since her sophomore year of high school, when she snuck out of the house to go to this huge party at her friend's place. The party lasted for hours on end, and alcohol was served, but Zoe didn't dare have a sip of anything but a wine cooler. She didn't know how it happened. Zoe didn't know how she lost track of time, or how she managed to down an entire glass of orange juice at ten at night. She didn't know what she'd done that night, until she left.

—

"What's a pretty girl like you doing on your own at a party like this?" A boy purred behind her. His name was Todd. He was tall, handsome, chiseled, and a generally popular boy, but after a few beers, his entire sense of right and wrong went out the window, and in came the delusional alcohol based mannerisms that made him, in Zoe's book, a class A dick.

"What's a boy in a high school letterman like you doing with vodka on your breath?" She retorted, crossing her arms in annoyance. Her hair fell into her face, and she glanced behind him when she tied it back. She focused on the wall, and not on the brunette boy smirking at her.

"It's a party, Zoe. Lighten up." Todd crossed his arms, tilting his head as he handed her a glass. She took it, hesitantly, looking at him questioningly. "Relax, Zoe. It's OJ. Nothing special about it."

She rolled her eyes. "If I drink your stupid peace offering will you leave me alone?" She grumbled. Zoe narrowed her eyes in focus, staring at the drink.

"What, you don't like it?" He crossed his arms, mimicking a pout. "Fine," he snarled, backing away in defeat. He took another sip of his drink, watching her.

Zoe downed it in one go, trying to get the relentless boy off her case. She glanced at him, tilting her head at his interested expression. "You're really drunk right now, aren't you?"

"Two tequila shots, four beers, and a wine cooler. I say I'm doin' just fine." Todd ran a hand through his hair, flashing his teeth at her with amusement.

"Well, maybe show that off to a girl who actually thinks underaged drinking is attractive," she blinked, her vision blurring slightly. "Because I can smell your breath from over here, and it is not pleasant."

Todd frowned, staying silent for a few minutes as he watched her slowly get more woozy. He tilted his head in mock curiosity as Zoe rubbed her eyes several times, her shoulders slumping. "You don't look so good, Zo," he pouted with fake care.

She barely heard him. Her head began to throb, her heart began to race, and her eyes kept blurring, as if they didn't want her to focus on anything. "I don't know what's going on."

Todd stuck his bottom lip out, slightly, standing up. "Here. Let's get you cleaned up." He took her hand, leading her up the stairs and into the bathroom. "It's okay."

—

It hadn't been okay since that night.

It was the worst feeling in the world when you could see and feel everything, but you couldn't do anything about it because nearly your entire body shut down.

Zoe admitting it to her family was the worst part.

It started with a vivid nightmare after her brother's first known suicide attempt, where she had repressed the memories of hat Todd had done to her, and filled Connor into her position.