DEH Oneshots/drabbles/shitposts

Prompt 4-Mental Disorder: You Have To Eat. (Treebros)

Tw: Eating disorders, bullying, cursing, angst.

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Evan Hansen had told no one about how much he obsessed over his weight.

Everyone thought that he was quiet. Everyone thought that Evan was okay, and they never batted an eye at him after he told them not to worry. Every time he would look at food, he would feel happy, and then empty, and then terrified. It was an odd feeling, really. His eyes would graze against the meals that everyone else would have in the chili cafeteria, and he would get nowhere but hearing the exaggerated voices of the kids across the room, telling him that he's too fat to eat, and that he doesn't deserve it.

They were right, right? Evan was never a part of a sport. He never worked out. He never thought about being in any sort of athletic activity, at the school. It wasn't his fault that none of it interested him. Nothing seemed to, anymore. Nothing helped Evan cope, besides obsessing over the number in the scale. Right then, the five-foot-ten boy was 91 pounds (41.27Kgs). It was still to much for him. Evan's target weight was somewhere where no one could make fun of him because the only thing left of him was skin and bone. And, fuck, he knew it wasn't healthy, but he couldn't stop. He couldn't stop eating a tiny Taco Bell taco, only to throw it up in the next hour. He couldn't stop running away from his problems, pushing them away like they were lightly dressed in gravy and served to him on a silver platter. ((OML PLATT er))

Evan had stopped eating about a month ago, only having about half a bottle of water every day. He found he didn't need them much anymore. It became a point of homeostasis. He could keep down, at best, a chicken nugget, unable to even fathom the thought of eating so revolting and fattening. He felt his stomach heave.

Excuse us for a moment.

Evan was brought back to reality. He sat at a table with Connor, Jared, and Zoe. They all talked about how happy they were about the one act play finally being upon them. They all gushed over different characters, marveling over their auditions, the comments they had gotten.

Evan didn't try out.

No matter how much arm pulling, twisting, smacking against a wall Connor did, he could not convince his boyfriend to do one act play with him.

Evan was a phenomenal actor, at least in his eyes. He had barely any tells, and he was the best reader out there, really. He was fantastic at delivering lines. Connor would know. Evan had helped him memorize so many times, while just reading over the paper. Connor knew he was a phenomenal actor.

Evan did, too.

After all, how could he hide his secret so well?

"Evan," Connor started. He looked at the boy with concerned eyes. "Do you want to hang out after school today? I've been meaning to talk to you about something." Connor's grip around Evans fingers tightened, slightly, his shoulders haunches in an almost protective stance as his eyes scanned the crowd of people around them. His eyes finally landed in Evan, whose sunken eyes were wide with nervousness.

Evan stared at Connor, his free hand rubbing against his pants as an anxious tendency he had picked up. He looked down, and then back up at Connor. "Uh, Yeah, of course," Evan threw on a smile, looking lovingly at Connor. He tilted his head on his shoulder, sniffing as Connor tore off a bit of his sandwich and handed it to Evan. He politely declined, saying that his lunch was big enough, and that he had eaten it in class.

In reality, Evan was struggling to hold down an entire goldfish cracker.

Connor frowned, taking it back. He took a bite, sighing as his eyes grazed over his boyfriend's lanky frame. "Meet me in the theatre room at 4:20, alright, Evan?"