LOVERS | sean lew

xii.

"In that line, you have to look at her like you really mean how much you felt for her," Katherine gushed, "right, Sean? Imagine as if you suddenly saw a new set of constellations in her eyes, like you're in awe of something so new, so beautiful. Act like you're in love."

Sean nodded, distracted and only half focusing on Katherine's words.

"Awkward," Jordyn singsonged. Bailey was quick to shut her up, sending a death glare to the blonde's direction. Jordyn only rolled her eyes.

Sean was livid at Jordyn, but he shook her off because she wasn't worth his time. She started to annoy the living shit out of him, but she was still apparently a bestfriend. However, he knew he had to talk to her sooner or later.

The older woman sighed in defeat, knowing that everyone was probably tired of doing this already. It was almost lunchtime too, so it explains the sleepy looks on their faces.

"Lunch break, it is," Katherine announced, and almost immediately, everyone's face brightened.

However, Sapphire took that as her cue to immediately leave without looking back, even when Malina called out her name.

The girl rushed to where the bathrooms were, rushing inside and locking the door behind her.

When the doors closed, she finally dropped her stoic and emotionless facade to let her real exhaustion seep through. It was like the bathroom was her safe place now, and walking in it allowed her to show what she really feels inside.

She steadied herself infront of the mirrors, propping her hands on the edge of the marble top, and looked up to look at her own reflection. Mentally, she scolded herself for walking out abruptly and acting all weirdly around them already.

"You look like shit," she sneered, immediately cringing at how the bags under her eyes look darker. "Mom wouldn't be too proud of me."

Mom. Her mom.

At the mere mention of her Mom's name, any trace of anger or frustration instantly turned into some what of a combination between sadness and regret.

My Mom. My Dad. They loved me the way any mother and father would love their daughter. They didn't do anything that would hurt me nor even bother me, because she said that she wanted to protect me as much as she can before I fully grew up to be exposed to the harsh stabs of the real world.

They loved me so much. They were the most precious and loving person God has ever given me.

Mom didn't deserve to die. Dad didn't deserve to die.

And now, it's my fault that I lost two of the most important people of my life.

She didn't want to cry. It was what she was stopping herself from doing since the day shit went down. She knew she was weak, but crying it all out would only make her look weaker than it is.

"It's my fault," she whispered softly to herself.

As she looked at herself in the mirror, she could only see a murderer.

True, she didn't shoot them nor did she inflict anything on them herself. But the thought that they would still be alive if she hadn't disturbed their sleep and called them over to fetch her broke her already battered and shattered heart, and nothing in this world could heal it whole.

They could have been here. But they weren't.

It's my fault. It's my fault. It's my fault. It's my fault.

They could have been still here.

It's my fault they're dead. It's my fault they got crashed by a stupid fucking drunk driver. It's my fault that my parents are no longer here.