Remission [H.S. MATURE AU]

5.

SCARLETT

My chest calms down only once I'm out and I can breathe plenty of air to fill my lungs. I lean against a wall, bringing my hand to my chest, feeling my heart slowly going to a regular beating again. Spencer doesn't take too long to find me. He looks at me with a bit of concern in his eyes, but I can also see that he knows that I can manage it on my own.

"I'm sorry for what happened..." I shrug my shoulders. If I think about the whole situation I feel embarrassed all over again for Harry's unfair jealousy. "He's never really been jealous... I was the jealous one."

"That's probably because you're not together anymore and he feels insecure, compared to when you guys were a couple." I sigh in frustration, feeling already exhausted by all of this. It's not easy for me either to erase Harry from my life, but it's something that I really need at the moment.

"I think I wanna go home now." I tell him. I still don't want to ruin Poe's night, especially if he's hoping to hit on Darla. "I'll call a taxi, do you wanna come?"

"Yeah, I need to talk to Aaron about a case." Spencer nods his head and I take out my phone to dial the number to call a taxi and right after I send Poe a text, saying that I'm going home and Spencer is taking me.

"How did it go?" My father asks us, as soon as he sees us getting home.

"Better than usual!" I tell him with a smile. Back in the taxi I asked Spencer not to tell him about what happened with Harry. I don't want him to get worried over nothing. "It was fun!"

"How was your first bowling match, kid?" He asks Spencer when they both go sit down on the couch in the living room.

"Quite well, actually. It's all a matter of physics, after all." He shrugs his shoulders and I can see on my father's face that he really doesn't want to know anymore. When Spencer starts talking about velocity, kinetic and oil conditions I decide to go to the kitchen to make myself a sandwich. I didn't have my hot dog, so I'm still quite hungry. I've had problems with eating lately but Spencer suggested me to take my time, every time I have to eat something and to cut the food into really small portions to make it easier and it's definitely a plus if I start with food I really like. As soon as I get back into the living room and I sit on the couch across from the one they're sat on, they stop talking and they turn to look at me.

"What?!" I snort, knowing perfectly that they don't want me here. I look at the pictures on the coffee table in front of them and I notice that it's not like it used to be, now these pictures really get me. I feel a shiver running across my back while my eyes are on the picture of a carbonized body in front of my father and when he realizes it, he quickly covers the picture from me. "I'll finish it in my room, I guess." I roll my eyes and sigh. I stand up and go to my father to kiss his cheek.

"Goodnight!" And then I kiss Spencer's. He wasn't expecting it and that's probably why his cheeks immediately become of a very red shade. I don't think he's that used to female contacts.

After I've put on my pajama and I've laid in bed I immediately realize that falling asleep is going to be harder than what I expected. I've been starting at the ceiling for the past hour and I still don't feel like sleeping. When my father opens the door of my room and sees I'm still awake he decides to come in.

"Did Spencer leave?" I ask him.

"Yeah, just now." He sits on the border of my bed, next to me. "You can't sleep?"

"Not really, it seems..." I smile at him and turn on my left side to face him.

"Have you thought about what you want to do? With college and everything?" I knew this question would eventually come out and the truth is that I've been thinking about it for a very long time now. If there's one thing I've learned by what happened in the last months before I was kidnapped is that I'm practically still undecided about everything. I've always relied on a future that was my father's, more than mine and now I just feel completely lost.