Remission [H.S. MATURE AU]

18.

HARRY

When I had seen Scarlett for the first time, in my room, I was completely sure that I had Elle in front of my eyes but then the way she was dressed — her sundress was so unusual for Elle, something she would've never worn — and her thick American accent told me something completely different. I knew Poe had a foster sister, so it wasn't that hard for me to imagine the rest. Elle was a lot of things, but she couldn't really doubling and live a life both here in the US and in France.

Since I first saw her here I wanted to know more about her. I wanted to understand. I wanted to know her and see how actually similar to Elle she was. There had never been a romantic relationship between me and Elle, we were just friends, but it would be a lie to say that I didn't think I felt something deeper for her. I met Elle when I was 15, in Deauville, and I kept seeing her every summer until Scarlett came around. Before meeting Scarlett, when I wasn't with Elle, she was all I could think about. All the time. But then, everything changed with Scarlett.

She made me understand the difference between what I felt for Elle and what love actually feels like. As soon as I'd gotten to know her, Elle was quickly completely out of my mind. She couldn't be more different from Elle and yet these differences were what I loved her for. What I still love her for. Elle was extremely sociable and outgoing. She used to trust people very easily and give love to everyone. When I first met her we started bonding on our love for the Stones and the Led Zeppelin, she used to sing for me, to play for me the songs she'd written and I remember that these moments were my favorite of the whole summer. She had something new to play me every summer and I liked to believe that she passed the year writing these songs knowing that I would listen to them. She was a solar person, I can't even remember seeing her sad once, she always had a smile on her face, no matter if something bad was happening in her life. Scarlett, on the other hand, is completely different. She's reserved and she's more careful with everything she does, to who she's giving love. She likes being on her own and she's never considered it a problem or a weakness. Her independence has always amazed me. It's not something easy to achieve for someone her age. I've always worried about being alone and what other people would've thought of me, but for Scarlett, it has never been a problem what other people think of her. I love this characteristic of her. She's smart and attentive and she lets go when she knows she can. Elle was an open book, while she's always been difficult for me to read. When I first met her I just knew I wanted to find out everything about her, to solve the mystery that was Scarlett Clark to me. I craved all of these differences and loved her for every single one of them. I didn't fall in love with her because of Elle, I never had a doubt in my mind.

I had promised myself I would've told her the truth at some point, that I would've told her about Elle. And I had tried, by making her talk about her biological family but she had always insisted that she didn't want to know so I couldn't bring myself to tell her the truth. Then, the night of the accident, everything started going downhill. My own secrets were drowning me and I couldn't do anything about it. I lied and lied, to cover my lies because I couldn't lose Scarlett. It hadn't been easy, seeing her like that because of my lies and my manipulation, but she's right; I've always been too much of a coward to tell her the truth.

Now, the best I can do to make up to her, or at least trying to, is putting behind bars the person that has done that to her. And to Elle. I owe it to both of them. When I had first talked to Aaron I had immediately thought about a person but I couldn't risk being right, she would tell Scarlett everything about Elle and me. Now she doesn't have anything else about me and I know exactly what I have to do.

"There's someone that fits perfectly the profile you've told me about... her name is Cora." Aaron furrows his eyebrows, sitting down right in front of him when I start talking. I'm not sure if Scarlett is still there, on the other side of the room, or if she's decided to go home, that she doesn't want to hear what I have to say.