Remission [H.S. MATURE AU]

17.

I'm gonna apologize in advance for the chapter not being super long but the next chapters' themes are all quite important and I didn't want to put too much in one single chapter so I hope you'll like it anyway xx

SCARLETT

No matter how hard I try to breathe, or how hard I try to make sense of what I've just found, of what is now imprinted with a red-hot iron in my memory, it doesn't work. I've tried to look for an explanation in my mind but nothing seems to work, to give a rest to my pain.

Maybe I shouldn't have looked at the bottom of that shelf, I should've left the picture there, without curiosity having the upper hand on me and maybe I wouldn't be standing here, completely heartbroken. Unfortunately, I have decided to look, to take the photo from the bottom of the shelf.

I had carefully looked through Elle's photos both on her Facebook page and in her room, enough to tell the few differences between the two of us, even if there weren't a lot. In this photo, if it wasn't for the pink hair lock, I've never had, in the hair of the girl next to Harry that looks exactly like me, I could've sworn that it could have been me, but it's not me. It's Elle, with her arms wrapped around Harry's waist and a big smile on her lips. It was just two years ago, like the date at the side of the photo says.

"I can explain..." Harry gulps while she looks at the photo between my hands. His eyes are filled up with guilt and it already tells me that there's not much to explain, it's exactly how bad as it looks.

"Explain..." I bitterly chuckle, repeating his words without even fully believing what is going on. I try to hold back my tears but I know that I won't succeed for much longer. "What do you want to explain?!"

"I know it seems bad but..." Harry tries to say, but a sudden sob escaping for his mouth forces him to stop. I would've never thought it but he's the first one starting to cry. Then it really is as bad as it seems and he knows it too.

"It is, or you wouldn't be here crying!" I have to close my eyes shut, to stop the tears, menacing to fall out, right where they are.

"There was nothing between us!" It's the first explanation he gives me, to describe the relationship he had with my twins, the one he's never told me about but I already know it. It doesn't matter if there was nothing because his feelings were there for sure. So many things make more sense now.

"You loved her!" I exclaim, knowing his answer already, I don't need to ask him. The look in his eyes just confirm it for me and I immediately feel a strong sense of nausea hitting me. "I'm gonna be sick..." I whisper to myself, bringing a hand to my forehead, trying to calm myself down.

"Hold up... I thought I loved her. I really did." He tells me, trying to meet my eyes while he talks to me. While he confesses his deepest secret to me. "But then I met you and I fell in love with you and I realized what I felt for your sister had never been love." His words sting, hurt me and at the same time, they make me want to laugh at his face. To show him that I don't believe his cruel lies anymore, like an idiot. That I won't fall to his feet every time he apologizes for breaking me.

"What love are you talking about?!" I raise my voice at him. "The day when you saw me, you wouldn't even look at me twice if it wasn't for her." At this point, tears start running freely down my face. "I would have just been one of the countless girls head over heels for you, watching you from afar."

"Does it matter now?!" He lowers his stare, with his cheeks still wet with his own tears.

"It fucking does!" I give him a push, wanting to hurt him so much more than that. "Our whole relationship is built on a lie. Every time you kissed me or made love to me, it was her you were thinking about." He immediately brings his eyes back to me, that this time are filled up with shock. He quickly shakes his head while I have to look down because I can't even bear looking at him now.