Remission [H.S. MATURE AU]

40.*

SCARLETT

I had never seen Harry cry like that, between my arms, like he's doing now. I keep stroking his head and telling him that everything is going to be alright, but I haven't tried to make him talk to me just yet. I'm not sure he's ready and I don't want to force him to do something he doesn't feel comfortable talking about just yet.

"I'm sorry for what happened on Friday..." I decide to tell him when his sobs slowly calm down. He looks up at me, with his watery eyes, and strokes my thigh with his thumb, before answering me.

"I should've just told you." He shrugs his shoulders and then proceeds to dry up the tears with the back of his hand. "I was still a bit in denial when I came back home... I'm sorry for taking it out on you." I bring both of my hands on his cheeks and I slowly stroke them, while we look at each other.

"I'm sorry too... I don't really think what I said."

"I don't think what I told you either..." he shakes his head and then wraps his arms around my waist to draw me nearer his body and brings his lips on mine in a quick kiss.

"I love you so much... so fucking much." I whisper against his lips and he sadly smiles at me. I can tell that whatever was hunting his mind is still there.

"I should've shot him." He says all of sudden, with his stare low. There's no need to ask him what he's talking about, I can already imagine. I keep quiet and I let him tell me whatever he wants to tell me. "I thought I could talk to him." He bitterly chuckles. "Resonating with a psychopath... I'm an idiot." He shakes his head at himself and takes a deep breath.

"You did your best... you didn't want to kill anyone." I delicately stroke his cheek, while he just keeps shaking his head at me, at my words.

"And a 4-year-old child died because of that." I take a deep breath at his words, not really knowing what to tell him to make him feel better this time, because I know that no words are going to lessen his pain and guilt, especially this early. I just wrap my arms around him and I hold him tight.

"You can't blame yourself for doing your job." I try to tell him.

"I can blame myself for doing my job wrong, though." He chuckles.

"You know that you didn't want that kid to get killed. Everyone can make a mistake, your intentions weren't bad." He slowly nods his head but I can see the sadness and discouragement written all over his sulky face.

"Ella." He tells me. I furrow my eyebrows, looking at him. "Her name was Ella." He specifies when he sees the confusion all over my face.

"Ella..." I repeat and nod my head. "Do you want me to make you a cup of tea? Maybe it'll help you to calm down a bit." He takes a deep breath and shakes his head. His hands reach mine and he intertwines his fingers with mine.

"I have something else in mind that could calm me down way better." He tells me with his husky voice, filled up with need and some sort of primal desperation. His hands travel up my arms, to the neck of my jacket and he tries to push it off of my shoulders. When I see how much he needs and wants it by the look in his eyes, I feel set up completely on fire. I take off my jacket, with his help, and I let it fall to the floor behind me.

His lips are very soon on mine, they move slowly, in contrast with our hands that are greedy to take the clothes off of each other's bodies, to feel each other's naked skin. Once he's managed to take off my top and bra, he makes me completely lay down, on our bed that is still unmade, and his lips soon arrive on my breasts. My hand gets lost between his curls while his mouth works on my left nipple and his hand on the right one. His tongue surrounds my nipple and his teeth softly bite on it. I automatically raise my pelvis against his, while arching my back, and he hisses under his breath at my gesture.