Remission [H.S. MATURE AU]

19.

HARRY

"Please, say something..." Cielo begs me, reaching my tight with her hand, almost to rock me out of my state of trance. I actually take a while, before saying something.

"How is it possible?!" My own voice comes out in a feeble whisper. "You told me you had been starting using birth control." I shake my head, not wanting to accept it as reality at all.

My whole life I have been firmly convinced about not wanting to have kids and now, in the span of a few days, my life has completely been turned upside down.

"Yeah, I did!" She firmly nods her head. "But it's never 100% reliable. It can happen." Cielo's eyes seem extremely disappointed at my reaction, that's for sure not what she was expecting and it's very clear to me.

"Did you take a test or you went to the gynecologist?" I immediately stand up, feeling suddenly trapped inside of this tiny room. I almost feel unable to breathe and I feel completely overwhelmed by this whole situation. It doesn't feel real and I'm not sure I want it to be.

"I took two tests and I've been feeling sick for a week now." She tells me, as she observes me walking around the room back and forth with a concerning look.

"Get dressed!" I tell her right away, not wanting to wait one more second, before finding out whatever she's telling the truth or not. Selfishly, I want those tests to be wrong. She looks at me confused, but she doesn't really protest since she can see the state I am in right now. She puts on her shoes and ties up her hair in a neat ponytail.

"I swear if we find out you tricked me on the birth control thing, I..." I stop just in time before I can say something that I'm going to regret later, but to be honest I already regret the words that have just left my mouth. She looks at me, with her mouth parted and her eyes wide open, obviously upset for what I've just said.

"Why would I ever do something like that?!" She asks me, completely shocked by my assumption.

"I don't know, because you want to get settled for the rest of your life?!" I'm pretty sure she was just about to slap me before she stopped herself, and maybe I would've deserved it. Her eyes immediately get teary and she tries hard not to cry in front of me. My madness, my shock, is probably talking instead of me but it's not enough of a justification and it won't make her feel any better.

"I'm not going anywhere with you!" She takes off her shoes, throwing them against the wall, feeling the same rage I'm feeling, obviously for different reasons, though. She sits down on the bed again and crosses her arms over her chest. "I want you out of this room!" She points her index to the door.

"Don't be a child now... you need a gynecologist." I roll my eyes, resting my hand on my waist, but my words don't really convince her.

"No, I'm tired, Harry!" She jumps to her feet. "I'm tired to be disrespected by you and to hear the way you talk down to me every single time." She shakes her head, with a single tear streaming down her cheek now. She lowers her stare for a few seconds, before glancing up at me again. "If I couldn't stand up for myself before, I can stand up now for this child." She rests her palm on her stomach while she speaks. I take my wallet from my pocket and I take out every single bill I have inside of it, resting it on her desk.

"I don't want your money!" She shakes her head, immediately grabbing them to give them back to me, but I quickly push my hand away.

"Don't be stupid... you need them for the gynecologist." I snort and roll my eyes, but at least she stops insisting for me to take my money back. "If you decide to keep it, I'll give you money to raise it but don't think I'll be part of your child's life or yours if you decide to keep it." She slightly parts her lips at my revelation and I can feel the disappointment growing inside of her. I don't know if she's ever understood the real me. I've always told her she had way too high expectations about me but she had never wanted to believe. She's probably realized now how right I was.