SHITS AND GIGGLES

My own words (poem) i did this as im a bit mad..and im blowing off steam

I think if I told you every single thing of a memory that fucking caused me pain, I think you would cry and wouldn't question why I want to die

you think that you know every fucking  solution to my fucking brain

Feeling of insane

Better watch the melatonin bottle Because I been eating them
Like fucking candy

18mg, and regrets fill my mouth, as i fucking stare at the mirror in a pout

My eyes feel like they can fucking fall out as sleep been running around, mocking me, and leaving me on the ground
School grades fucking dropping down (not much)

As my friend has been hit by a car and never woke up, set in mind set of -

FUCK!

Memory triggers tingle up my spine as the bitter taste of fucking wine

Then wonder why I don't want to dine, and I sometimes starve as I can't get a fucking grip on to life, who the fuck would ever want me, a broken ignorant bitch, as a wife?

Well, "Jazz if you think positive"- fuck that, that shit doesn't work, can't you see that I'm hurt?

Why do you say you have any fucking back, no matter what, but at the same time asking me if I'm sure on what I stated? I'm sure that me being pansexual is not debated

Tell me I'm going to hell, very well! What did I do to go? Then again, what did I do to deserve this? Aching in pain and laying in bed, depressed and stressed.

I HAVE FUCKING FEELINGS! In my whole life, no one seemed to care, as I seem like I don't...
I do
So as I wait for you
To just text me, and expect me to answer but you can't answer to me when I text
Fucked up, huh? 

Sometimes I want to be as fucking mean as people in the past and present are to me, but in the end my heart tugs and I am that same old fool to get hurt. Because I have a gold heart. This world is dark and I feel like I don't have a spot to take part.

The spotlight is on you, always, as I help you on your problems but you never seem to have the time to listen to mine.
Even so,  it turns back to you before I finish my spilling word and there I am again, there for you.

Fuck me.

Right?

Pick out all my flaws but never help me see the good, and wonders why I'm my own personal bully. Don't come to me when im in the hospital, trying to give me a cookie.

Little bitch!

Want to punch the fucking walls til my hands bleed and til I can't see, the adrenaline rush in me

Ripped my wings off and made me pay, then wonder why I give you looks in dismay.

Ugh. As if these words are raised enough to be heard or cared for? Yeah, sure. 

FUCK IT ALL

FUCK ME

DON'T GIVE A SHIT ANYWAY

LET ME JUST FUCKING DECAY...

*heavily breathing* I am screaming...becoming my mother, short temper.

Let's sing a song and maybe it will stop...maybe

Rain, rain,
Go away,
I am a fuckup in everyway