Poems and Rants Of A Killjoy

Blink

It wasn't so bad, I kinda started to like it there (mostly because we were all in the same boat). Four years later and I'm still terrified of going back to that place.

It scares me....

With a simple blink I find myself back in the building again. Alone again. Oh so alone... *tears slide down my cheeks*

You know that they all wanted to meet up in five years? They all exchanged information (even though if caught with the personal information you'd get put on unit) and said to follow one another on social media, yet I was never given any information. At the time I felt left out, but it's gone.

Empty hallways, constant footsteps, and check ups.

Nurse: "On a scale of one to ten how would you rate your depression today?"

Nurse: "What about your anxiety?"

Nurse: "How do you feel?"

Nurse: "Are you feeling any side effects of the medication?"

At the time I only struggled with Depression and Anxiety, yet they put me on an anti-psychotic medication... It changed me...

Me: "Did you guys see that?"

A: "No..."

Me: "You didn't?"

D: "If you're seeing things you should tell Red so she can fix your meds."

It made me feel normal, happy even. Once at home my parents commented, "She's like a robot with little to no emotions". Interesting isn't it?

*Blink*
Empty white tile hallways, ugly photographs of nature on the walls and oak doors that locked from the outside.

Me: "They took my shoelaces...."

Z: "Yeah, they don't trust us."

There are so many rules to that place. Boy and girls sit at different tables.
No physical contact of any kind.
Need to go to the bathroom or get something from your room? Have to ask one of two nurses. They have the keys.
Nurse has to check to make sure that spork was thrown away.
Always take morning showers (if you take one at night then you still have to take one in the morning).
Take medicine at night.
No swearing.

It seems that the list goes on and on...

I'm terrified to- *blink*