Crossed Hearts (SugaKookie)

29

Yoongi had never been rough with Jungkook or forced himself on him physically unless it was to hug him to calm him down. Jungkook was now frightened because a side of Yoongi he didn't know was now coming out and he didn't think he liked it. Yoongi had quite forcefully grabbed his upper arm to haul him off the floor, his lips now pressed together in a firm line showing Jungkook nothing but quiet anger and disapproval. He didn't let go of him either, even as they exited Yoongi's office and the older dragged Yoongi down the hallway and towards Namjoon's office.

Jungkook's heart sank. Sehun would see him again. Sehun would see that Jungkook had done exactly as he had been told and he would see how poorly Yoongi had taken it. It was like admitting defeat to his old dominant and Jungkook wanted that less than anything. He never wanted to see Sehun again. But Yoongi, his only friend and ally, was taking him to the one place he never wanted to go.

Jungkook should have known.

He should have known Sehun would be the only person who would ever truly want him even if it was simply to abuse him and use him.

Jungkook whimpered as Yoongi's grip did nothing but tighten. The man seemed to realize he was putting a bit too much pressure on Jungkook's arm and switched to the younger's wrist. Jungkook choked back a sob as he realized they were coming closer to Namjoon's studio now. God, he wanted to disappear. He wanted to stop existing...

"We're leaving," Yoongi called in to Namjoon's studio, not waiting for a reply as he dragged Jungkook out of the building by his wrist. It was reminiscent of their first night together when Yoongi had dragged Jungkook into his home. However, Jungkook breathed a small sigh of relief as he couldn't see Sehun through the door and so Sehun couldn't see him either. He couldn't see the red eyes and the runny nose and the total mental breakdown that Jungkook was at the moment. But Yoongi's voice had been rough and clipped and Jungkook knew that Sehun would know Jungkook had followed orders by that alone. It wasn't a victory, but it wasn't a total defeat.

The ride home was silent and stressed. Jungkook did his best not to break down into tears. All his fears had been correct. Yoongi was appalled. He was horrified. He didn't want Jungkook anymore because he finally saw what Jungkook really was.

"Hyung...?" Jungkook tried, his voice quivering as he tried to keep his bottom lip from wobbling.

"No, Jungkook." Yoongi didn't even spare him a glance.

Yoongi wouldn't even look at Jungkook, his lips still pressed into that thin line with his eyes set straight ahead as he drove. There was no music and Jungkook didn't dare ask for any. Anything less than silence right now seemed like it would upset Yoongi and Jungkook had already pushed enough. It was worrisome, though. He had just been getting used to Yoongi. He was beginning to trust Yoongi. And now Yoongi seemed to be pushing him away.

You knew this would happen...

Jungkook tried to shrug the thoughts away but they still came.

You're disgusting...

You thought you might love him but no one could ever love anything like you...

Sehun was right about you...

You're nothing...

You're a waste...

Yoongi doesn't even want you...

Jungkook whimpered, covering his ears and clenching his eyes shut as it that would somehow protect him from the noises and thoughts in his head. He wished more than anything that Yoongi would reach out and touch him and let him know it was ok, that he had just overreacted. But Yoongi didn't. He kept his hands to himself, tight around the steering wheel as he finally pulled up into his driveway.

Jungkook went straight to his room, locking the door and crying. He had never locked a door in his entire life but he couldn't bring himself to even care that he had done so now. He had ruined everything. Yoongi wouldn't care if he locked a door.

Jungkook didn't eat or speak to Yoongi for the rest of the day. He stayed locked in his room, crying into his pillow and trying to quiet himself whenever he heard Yoongi's footsteps patter past his door. They never stopped at his door. Yoongi never came and offered him dinner like he usually did. He never knocked on his door and offered to take Jungkook with himself and Holly for a nice walk around the neighborhood.

Yoongi himself was having a crisis, much to Jungkook's unknowing. He was waiting for the younger to come forth and explain, or at least pretend like nothing ever happened. He was waiting for Jungkook at dinner. And then he was waiting for Jungkook at the door for a good thirty minutes before he finally just took Holly for his walk without Jungkook.

Jungkook didn't sleep with Yoongi that night. Yoongi waited and waited for his sleepy, droopy doe eyed boy to come stumbling in with his pillow and blanket but he never came. It was midnight when Yoongi finally gave up. If Jungkook wanted space, that was ok. They could speak about what had happened in the morning.

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I'm sorry, I haven't been updating like I should - I'm terrible :( I've been very busy but I will hopefully have more time to write tomorrow.