Crossed Hearts (SugaKookie)

33

Jungkook shivered with disgust. He hated the soft way Sehun was trailing his fingers up and down his stomach and how he hummed to himself as he would pinch a little bit of skin between his thumb and forefinger every few seconds. Jungkook knew better than to ask Sehun to stop. If he opened his mouth, with Sehun this close, the man could hurt him greatly.

Of course, Jungkook's old dominant had never been concerned about not leaving noticeable or visible marks before. There was no need. Jungkook only went to school and no one paid attention to him for the most part. But Sehun was going to be careful here. He couldn't have Yoongi asking too many questions. He knew from only the few minutes he'd actually spent with Jungkook since he ran away that the boy was still weak willed. If Yoongi pushed enough, he'd break.

And so, Sehun needed to reinforce to Jungkook that Yoongi couldn't and wouldn't help him. He needed Jungkook to believe what he said so the boy would rely more on his words than Yoongi's.

"He wants you, Jungkook. He wants the same thing I want from you. He wants to use you. You're not good for anything else. You're useless and worthless. He's just waiting to use you, until you think he's not. He's not as kind as I am. I'm upfront with you. I won't lie to you and tell you that you have some kind of value. I'm so much better to you than he is." Sehun couldn't stop the small smile that had slipped onto his face.

The boy's eyes were still clamped shut, his mouth hung open as he tried desperate to regulate his erratic breathing and tears were still streaking an ugly red down his cheeks, "N-no... Yoongi is good. Yoongi loves me."

Sehun's voice was soft and gentle. It was a complete contrast from his words, "No one loves you, Jungkook. Your parents didn't want you. The orphanage didn't want you. I want you though. Even if it's just for your body. Yoongi wants you like that, too. But he'll get sick of you. He'll get rid of you. I won't. I'll take care of you forever, Jungkook."

Jungkook broke down in more, pitiful sobs, his face screwing up as he shivered and tried to keep his shirt up. He could see the words on the tip of Sehun's tongue about himself. He heard the same voices in his head:

You're so ugly...

You're fat...

You've gained so much weight and now you're disgusting...

And somehow, Sehun knew he didn't even have to say these things to make Jungkook think them. He had started conditioning the boy long ago and now Jungkook was easily susceptible to negativity. Sehun sighed, almost peacefully, before looking down at his watch. With a grunt he pulled away from the broken down boy in front of him.

"I have to go, Jungkook..." he paused, "Try and tell Yoongi what happened here and remember what I'll do." Sehun patted Jungkook's cheek as he smiled. He left the bathroom whistling a rather upbeat tune and leaving Jungkook to himself. Once he was gone Jungkook's knees gave out and he collapsed. He couldn't find it within himself to stand once more and even if he could he was certain his knees would only give out again. He felt sick. He wanted to vomit.

Jungkook stayed in the bathroom for another hour. He had crawled into one of the stalls and had vomited at least four times. He couldn't find it within himself to move or even to try and find Yoongi. Yoongi didn't want him anyway. Sehun was right – he was worthless. What if Yoongi just wanted him and was going to throw him away later? Who just took a stranger into their home? Jungkook felt sick once more as his mind was racing just as quickly as his heart. It had been over and hour and he hadn't calmed down at all. If anything he was even more worked up once left to himself.

Yoongi is good! I love Yoongi!

Yoongi is just like Sehun. He'll pretend to be kind and then he'll start beating you.

Yoongi cares!

Yoongi cares about using you...

Jin hyung said I was his favorite and that he doesn't care for people like he cares for me...

Sehun doesn't treat people like he treats you, either. You've seen it with your own eyes...

"Jungkook?" the boy whose name was being called startled at the sound of Yoongi's voice. There was something in him that filled with hope. Yoongi made everything better and didn't pressure him. But he also filled with dread. Maybe Yoongi's entire demeanor and caring attitude towards him was a lie.

The man came running into the bathroom. He looked around wildly, "Jungkook, are you in here?" Jungkook didn't answer for a moment and heard the man curse under his breath before hearing him whisper, "Please be ok."

Jungkook unlatched the stall and staggered out. When Yoongi's eyes landed on him, his face went from lighting up to a certain kind of concern.

"What the hell happened to you?" he was by Jungkook's side in a seconds, his arms wrapped around him and holding him up, "You like terrible." Yoongi didn't miss the flinch and the way Jungkook leaned away from him as he tried to help. His heart ached but he said nothing.

"I got sick," Jungkook lied.

"Oh my god, I've been looking for you for half an hour. I was worried, Jungkook." He paused. Jungkook did indeed look queasy but he also was pulling slightly, as if trying to get away from Yoongi, "Let's get you home, huh? We'll get you some soup and some medicine."

Jungkook let himself be guided out of the bathroom. All he wanted was to be left alone and at the same time, all he wanted was for Yoongi to hold him until he felt safe once more.

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Please comment and vote!

A lil lesson if you want it, it's really hard to think you're worth anything after going through physical, emotional, mental - any kind of abuse. Abuse is a large problem still today even though I do believe we're taking strides especially with our generation to be more understanding and kind and do end abuse.