BTS's 8th Member Imagines (Requests Closed)

Help Me

A/N: Requested by @jongtaezo. Imagine your parents are alive in this imagine. WARNING: May mention some thoughts and actions relating to self harm. DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO THESE TOPICS. I hope you liked it :). Requests are open if you want to request. Part 2 will be up soon.

Y/N POV

This was getting too much now. I couldn't handle it. The stress was getting to me. The hate was getting to me. My parents. They were on a mission to hunt me down. I was huddled up in my bed as tears slowly streamed down my face. I tried as hard as I could to cover this up by plastering a fake smile and pretending to be all jumpy and happy. But no one knew what was behind that so called smile of mine.

My phone was constantly flashing on and off from my twitter and instagram account. Maybe I should leave Bangtan. I am a failure anyways. I decided to try and let my feelings out by writing lyrics with them. I debated getting out of bed at first, but eventually I got up and grabbed my pink notebook Jin gifted me for Christmas. I cherished this notebook as it contained all my song lyrics that I had never shown anyone.

I grabbed my pen and started scribbling furiously. I let all my emotions out, but it didn't lighten my heart as it usually would. My heart still felt like it weighed a ton of bricks. I growled in frustration and tried writing another song, but I had no words. I couldn't do anything right. Maybe people were right. I decided to go sleep to help me forget all my problems.

I switch my lamp off and leave my book on my desk. I would usually place it back in my draw where no one would be able to read it, but I had forgotten to do so. I flopped onto my bed and shut my eyes in attempts to fall asleep, but I wasn't able to with all these thoughts crowding my mind. 

With all these thoughts, I decided to head to the bathroom for a shower. It wasn't too late.Only 10:30 at night. I headed into the bathroom and looked at my reflection in the mirror. Why was I like this? The sudden idea of slashing myself came to mind. I searched for a razor, which I found in my cupboard and sat down and stared at my clear milky skin and then the razor.

I slowly brought the razor closer, the blade nearing by every second. The blade made contact with my skin as I dragged it along, enjoying the pain it gave me. Each time I slashed a beautiful ruby liquid would ooze out, making me content. After I had made a few slashes, my heart was a bit lighter than before, but was still heavy.

I slipped into the shower after taking my clothes off and hissed as the warm water made contact with my cuts. After taking a shower, I let myself into bed and let darkness engulf me.

Yoongi POV

I was sitting on the couch in the living room with everyone as we were laughing together at Jin's jokes. But for some reason I felt like Y/N's smile was fake. Everyday for the past 2 weeks I have seen eye bags under her usually bright green eyes, which were now dull. 

I can see that when she think's no one is looking, that she lets her smile immediately drop. Her puffy eyes. I would sometimes come in her room and see her red eyes. I would ask her if she was okay but she would respond by saying that she was okay.

I know she's not. It stabs me every time I see her now. In her condition. She had gone quite pale now, she seems to lost quite a lot of weight. Today was worse though. I have decided to talk to her later. Now we have practice.

*After Practice*

After practice, Y/N had immediately gone into her room. I was going to talk to her, so then I knocked on the door. I didn't receive a response so I knocked again. After no response, I decided to barge in and saw that she was asleep. I was about to leave, but then my gaze travelled to the pink notebook Jin gave her on Christmas. It was open and had some writing sprawled on it. I picked the book up as my eyes scanned her neat writing.

I wander through the world
No meaning in my life
My mind is driving me insane
The hurt I've kept all years
So much want it to end
Don't want to live with this pain

I cannot follow through
As a downward sees a joy
Provide my mind with a cure
As I need to get my high
To choose to help me fly
Is a cost of my sorrow and my pain

Oh god please let me go
Let me leave the misery
I'm so tired in my head
Can't keep on living like this
Cause I have no life you see
I shall end my own misery

Oh god please let me go
Let me leave the misery
I'm so tired in my head
Can't keep on living like this
Cause I have no life you see
I shall end my own misery

I wander through the world
No meaning in my life
My mind is driving me insane

(BTW this is an actual song. It is called Depressed by D.H.T. I am giving him credit for his song just in case you thought I made it.)

I felt a warm liquid roll down my cheeks at the words she wrote. This wasn't a good sign. I need to fix this before it gets any worse. Just then I heard stirring and I placed the book down gently before walking up to Y/N. I sat on her bed and saw her wake up.

"Hyung?" she whispered as the light coming from her window revealed her tear stricken face. 

"Y/N, sit up please." I say softly as she immediately sits up.

"Is something wrong hyung?"

"Yes." I say as her face contorts into confusion.

"What happened? Did Namjoon hyung break something again?"

"Aniya."

"Then what's wrong?"

"The fact that you're pretending to be happy."

"W-what do you mean hyung?"

"Y/N-ah, you don't have to hide it from me."