Run and Hide

Chapter 29: My Feeling Of False Hope

Chapter 29: My Feeling of False Hope

Hiccup

When I looked into Astrid's eyes I could see the meaning inside them and the understanding she was pulling forwards, it was clear to me more than ever now that she cared. I felt her wrap her arm around me and pull me close a slowly but surely now I felt the tears rain from my eyes and fall down onto her shoulder. "I have a family Astrid and I don't even know who they are and where they are, or even if they remember me. What if they've forgotten me or what if they aren't even alive anymore?" I felt her head shake against me and her sigh was heavy "Don't say that Hiccup, don't ever say that because your family is out there, I know that they are," now it was my time to shake my head because, after all that has happen how could I believe that there was a second chance for me to be happy. I already earned one chance to be happy and it was almost blown because of Viggo and Ryker again, I don't want that to happen so that's why I can't believe that there is a second chance for me. "How do you know that Astrid? My whole life when I was living with Viggo and Ryker all I wished for was a family, a family who accepted me and loved me so I could grow up with them and have a life like every other child. I could of have had friends growing up, I could have done things with my parents but it was all thrown away."

I felt her hand run through my hair as I felt my voice cracking through the tears I no longer couldn't let fall. "I know they are Hiccup and we're gonna find them together, I promise you that," the pounding of my heart was slowly dying down until it felt calm once again but the tears which welled up in my eyes now made them feel weary and puffy so now all I wanted to do was to close them and I think that's exactly what I did. As I started come out with final words they slowly started to fade out "All I want...is my family...back," those were the final words which escaped my lips before I faded out and let my eyes close into the darkness.

From the moment my eyes closed I could feel myself channelling itself back to somewhere which looked unusual to me, somewhere where I'd obviously been before but I had no recollection of being there. Not fully at least. As I looked around where I was placed, I could see that I was sat in what seemed to be a house I could feel the heat radiating towards me from the fire which was across the room from me and from the way I was acting I could tell that I was very young. In my hands I noticed I was holding a small dragon toy, it wasn't the same as the small NightFury toy which has been with me for some time but instead it was a different one and this one I seemed to have a closer connection with for some strange reason. "Hiccup sweetheart," I looked to see a faint figure walk through the room and start to head towards me. The figure was small and quite tall; I could tell that this person was a woman even through the blur. Their voice was sweet and calming which made me feel safe more than safe than I have been to last me a lifetime.

Through this blur, I could see the woman had long brown hair and her smile was faint but welcoming with love which I knew that I loved as well. "Mummy!!" I heard the word escape my mouth without even a thought to why I would say it. I felt my arms rise at the sight of her and I felt the soft texture of her hands link in with my own as she sat down in front of me. I crawled my way over to her and took my place sat in her lap just as she picked up the dragon toy which I hadn't noticed been dropped from my hands. From that moment on, she started playing with me and making funny jokes and noisy to make the giggle coming from my throat exceed. Suddenly I felt a cold wind crisp its way into the house; my head made its way to look over to the source to now let me see a figure standing in the doorway. "Daddy!!" I suddenly shouted and felt myself struggle playfully in my mother's arm to try and reach him. I felt her hands release me and urge me forwards and I could feel my feet running in his direction. As he leant down I was almost oblivious to his hands which wrap themselves around me ready for him to spin me round to finally hold him against me. When he held me against him the tuffs of the man's bright orange beard was rough but it didn't seem to bother me as I loved to keep playing with it and it seemed the man didn't mind because as I looked up at him through the blur, just like the woman beforehand I could see a heart-warming smile.

In that moment I found a smile on my face but it brightened even further when I found my mother by his side first making eye contact with the man who seemed to be my father to then look at me. This image right here was the image which I wanted for my whole life the image which was ripped from me but as of right now, this was the image which I was going to hold onto even though each person was a blur to me...even though I didn't know fully what they looked like.

I didn't wake abruptly this time, I wasn't afraid when I was waking up instead I was waking up with a smile upon my face it may be small but it was true. I could see clearly now that I did have a family and all that was needed for me to remember was something else from my past to give it that kick and then I just needed to believe it for me to remember. I know that it wasn't the full picture, I knew that I couldn't see their faces but at least the faded memory of it was all that I needed at least I had something of them and right now that' all I needed. I slowly sat up from the bed and looked around to see the twilight sky out through the gap of the door and then felt the fur blankets on me which was obviously placed by Astrid before she left. That's what I loved about her, she's extremely caring and puts someone else before herself and tries to make sure that everyone is okay. I noticed Toothless had wrapped himself around the bed again just like he always is whenever I wake up. I pushed myself up from the bed and decided to head up to the clubhouse and meet the others because I was sure that was probably where everyone was, they usually are at least. I closed the door silently behind me so that I wouldn't wake Toothless up and started to head towards the clubhouse.

As I began to get closer and closer, I could see the light evaporate throughout the room and all the voices coming from inside. "What do you mean you didn't tell him?" That's when I stopped right outside the door and decided to listen. Whatever they were talking about I thought automatically it had to be me because I was the only one who wasn't in the room. "I couldn't tell him, you didn't hear what he told me. I couldn't just throw news on him like that I mean it's a lot to take on you know," that was Astrid's voice and the sense of urgency she had to it put me on edge because I didn't know what was going on. "Astrid listen to me, you have the proof and the scar on his chin proved it just like Stoick and Valka told you about. You have to tell him the truth, you have to tell him who he is and where he can find his parent's through whatever he's told you." I heard her voice pipe back up again but before she could say anything I pushed my way round the corner to confront them all. "You know who my family is?" the cut to my voice was evident and you could easily tell the hurt and betrayal I felt through it. All their heads turned in unison towards me each with their eyes wide open and some of them looked shocked and some of them looked upset and some looked caught out. "Hiccup listen to me, this isn't what it looks like."

I shook my head and walked back away from them "No don't, don't even bother explaining yourselves. You were just using me; you were all just using me!" Immediately I ran out the clubhouse and back towards my hut just as they all shouted out my name. I slammed open the door to my hut just by mirroring the action in slamming it closed and there I fell down to the ground in silence before letting my head drop into my knees and letting the tears fall once again.