Here We Go Again.

Sad

  The next day. I stayed in my room the whole day. Not talking to anyone. Just sitting here thinking about how my life fucking sucks. Austin texted me multiple times. I didn't want to talk or write to anyone. This isn't even about Dylan, it's about Sam and it's about Stella. Stella my friend for so long hurt me like that. And I was actually getting really into Dylan. Last night had ruined a lot for me. And I didn't want to leave my room for anyone or anything.

I sigh staring at the wall of my room tat was full of random posters and pictures. My phone starts buzzing on the side drawer. I grab it Austin's name flashes on the screen. I just mute it and put it back. I stare at the walls again.

Sam's the biggest thing on my mind now. I ruined it with him. He was always there for me. He always knew how to make me feel better. I ruined our friendship. Because of my cheating ex Dylan.

There's a knock at my door.
  "Jo?" My dad's voice was heard.
  "Yeah?" I reply.
  "Austin called me, he's wondering if you're okay" he said.
  "Yeah I am" I mutter. "I just don't feel good, I don't to talk" I said.
  "Ok" he says and I hear him walk away. I let some tears slide down my face. I ruin everything don't I?

~

  "Jo you coming down to eat or do you want me to bring you food?" My dad asks.
  "Um" I say. "I'm not hungry."
  "You need to eat. You've been out of the room once today" he says.
  "I told you I didn't feel good" I lie.
  "Ok, tell me if you need anything alright" he said.
  "Ok, thanks" I say. He walks away. I sit up in my bed looking around. I grab my phone for the first time in forever and see a whole inch of messages from Austin and some from Dylan. Of course. I roll my eyes and go onto Instagram. Stella had the audacity to post a picture of her from last night. I go onto her account and unfollow her. I felt tears prickle my eyes. I go off he account and drop my phone onto my lap. Deal with it Jo. Everything is too good to be true. I sigh when my phone buzzes from a text from Austin. So I just go onto his texts.

Austin: WHERE ARE YOU!?
Austin: WHY ARENT YOU REPLYING!!
Austin: are you okay!?
Austin: please answer. What's wrong!? Was it Dylan!? Sam!?

I scroll through them looking at the last one.

Austin: did you unfollow Stella? Also why the fuck aren't you answering me!? Did I do something.

Ugh I feel bad. My fingers hover over the keyboard.

Me: just not feeling good..
Me: sorry for not replying. I haven't been on anything just in my room

Austin: thank god you're alive. Do you need anything!?

Me: I'm okay thanks.

Austin: I know my best friend Jo.. tell me what's up please. Can I come over?

Me: I really want to be alone

Austin: I'm coming...

Me: no I'll just tell you rn
Me: Dylan cheated on me.... with Stella.

I don't get a reply for a solid 5 minutes.

Austin: oh my god babe I'll be over with a bunch of stuff. STELLA!? I'm calling you

My phone buzzes before I can reply.

  "Austin... I really don't want to talk" I said into the phone.
  "Are you okay!? I'm ripping Stella a new one and we're done with her" he says.
  "You don't have to be. She is a close friend" I sigh.
  "I don't give a fuck. We're closer. She's a fucking bitch if she could do something like that to you" he says. "I'm so sorry.."
  "You didn't do anything" I sigh. I felt the tears ready to roll down but I try to blink them back.
  "I know. It's just. I don't wanna see you like this" he sighs. "Can I Please come over?"
  "No. I really just want to sleep, I don't feel like talking or visits I'm sorry I just really want to be alone" I reply.
  "Ok, but please text me if you need anything I mean anything okay!?" He said.
  "Ok" I nod even though he can't see. "Bye" I said and hung up.

I put my phone down laying down covering myself with my sheets. I close my eyes. I just want to sleep to escape everything. But I can't with all these fucking thoughts on my mind. I sigh.
  "Just leave me alone" I groan to myself. I look at the time. 7:30.

I want a coffee. But I was not willing to get up and have to walk over there right now. And this is something me and Sam can't just do to forgive each other tonight. He probably hates my guts right now. He's probably with our friends enjoying his life. While I literally want to end mine right now. Will he ever forgive me? I hate thinking of this shit. It makes me want to cry but I can't stop myself because my mind fucking sucks.

Some more tears fall and I wipe them away immediately.
  "Stop it Jo!" I mutter. "Just stop being a little Bitch for once."

I stare at the same wall again. For the millionth time tonight. The most interesting thing to look at right now. My phone would just make me hate my life more.

I need coffee. Just take one ounce of energy to do this for yourself Jo. I push the sheets off me and the cool air hits my bare legs. I get up for the first time in a little bit. I slip on my slides and grab my bag and slip on a dickies sweatshirt. I tie my hair into a tiny ponytail. The best I'll get. I grab my phone as well and head out. I think my dad was in his office.

I go over to it. I knock on the door he looks up surprised.
  "Oh hey" he smiles. "You okay?"
  "Mmhmm" I nod. "I'm gonna go get myself a coffee" I look at my fingers.
  "Ok, want me to drive you?" He asks.
  "No I'm gonna walk" I reply. "Want anything?"
  "No I'm good" he says.
  "Kay, see you" I turn and walk away. I leave the house and start my walk to the store. It was kind of good to see the fresh air. Well polluted but fresher than my room.

I got there and quickly got my coffee so I didn't have to face many people.

The minute I get back home I went up to my room and locked the door and sat there drinking my coffee not wanting to face reality.

****************************

A/N

Kinda boring. Not my longest chapter. Kinda short but I mean gotta do it. Needed another filler, but I hope you guys enjoyed it. Tell me your thoughts, and all that you know the drill with all that shit. Ima stop writing cause I'm a little extra. Anyways, enjoy my lovely people. Xoxo.

-Jana🤙🏽