Thoughts

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  I stare at my ceiling letting my alarm just ring. Sam. Shit. Sam. Shit. Sam. Shit. Sam. Shit. Oh god. I turn to my side shutting the alarm off. All through last night up until literally right now. I've been thinking about Sam. And yes. I believe I like him. I took in everything and when I say everything I mean... like everything we've talked about every time we've hung out everything. And I truly am in like with him. It makes me so completely uncomfortable. I don't know how I'll act. What I'll do, what if he finds out I'm being weird and I say some weirded shit. No fucking way he feels any of this towards me. UGH!! My mind just wanders off about him again. Everything. He's hot! Exhibit A.) and then exhibit 2.) he's got the personality!! Like come on he's nice ya he's funny, sarcastic and ya a dick time or time but a hot one. Guys!! What the fuck do I do.

  "Hey are you even up!" Speaking of the devil he walks into my room and I mentally groan. "Dude! I texted you a bazillion times!! Get up get ready!" He says.
  "Leave me here to die alone" I said.
  "No can do J!" He says. "J" the way he gave me a nickname when my name is literally 2 letters long. And his voice. STOP!! Maybe this is all a dream and I'm being dramatic and don't like him. Maybe I'm just having one of those girly things. But it'll end in a week or so. "Come on" he goes into my closet. He was wearing jeans and a striped shirt. It looked good. "Here! It's almost time to go!!"
  "Ok!!" I groan throwing the sheets off me and getting up. I didn't mind the clothes he picked out. My black jeans and a neon crop. I go to the washroom.

I get ready quickly. God Jo! Get yourself together man.
"You okay?" He asks when I get out of the washroom.
"Yeah" I nod. "Just tired" I add. I grab my bags and slip on speaking of yesterday crocs.
"Nice" he smiles.
"Yeah right?" I let a small grin come onto my face. They were black.
"We should match tomorrow" he bumps me as we head out of my room to go downstairs.
"You actually have a pair?" I asked.
"Definitely black also" he nods.
"Awesome lets do it" I nod.
"Cool."

We get out to his car I lock the door.
"So what's actually up?" He asks while we get into the car.
  "Nothing why?" I asked back.
  "You're being weird" he laughs turning the car on.
  "I don't know what's up with you but I'm fine" I said.
  "Really doesn't seem like it, did I do something, was it the Dylan thing?" He asks.
  "God no" I shake my head.
  "Then will you tell me? Cause o can't read your mind" he says.
  "I'm fine actually dude, I just had another nightmare" I hate that I had to use that as an excuse but I did so it wouldn't be any weirder.
  "Oh sorry" he frowns.
  "Nothing you need to be sorry about" I reply.
  "Still" he shrugs. Wow. Look at him being nice again. Nothing new here kids, besides my crush on this ass.

We get to the school and I rush to my locker just trying so hard to get out of my own thoughts.
  "Did you bring my sweatshirt hoe?" Austin voice startles me and I sigh.
  "Yeah" I nod pulling it out of my backpack.
  "Thanks you okay?" he asks me with narrowed eyebrows.
  "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" I reply locking my locker after I grab everything.
  "You seem a little scattered babe" he chuckles.
  "That too" I mutter. "I'm good, running on no sleep and life."
  "Sorry Jo, but your whole insomnia thing isn't good for you. I know you get nightmares but sometimes it gets out of hand and you stay up all night and no sleep" He tells me.
  "I know, but I take naps. Now it's like I'm used to it so I don't get tired" I shrug.
  "Tonight I'm giving you Niquil" he says I laugh.
  "Ooh Niquil, can I get some" Sam pops up.
  "Why?" Austin laughs.
  "Cause it makes people sleep" he says in an obvious tone.
  "Kay, so you just want to go to sleep don't you do it already?" Austin laughs again.
  "Not until like 7:00 am, I've got insomnia to" he says.
  "Shit, both of you are really weird" Austin rolls his eyes.
  "Thanks" we said in unison and laugh.

I sigh shaking the thoughts out of my head. It's just that think that lasts like a week Jo, like really you need to chill the fuck out.

~

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