It's Whateva

Coming Clean Part1

It was now the middle of October and unofficially cold as FUCK outside! I went from my cute little skirts and blouses to pants, sweaters and turtlenecks...and boots...lots of boots!

I also got my hair braided for the cold so I didn't have to worry about it too much...hell I braided Mya's hair last week so she was good for at least a month if her mother took care of it properly. 

Yeah I still got Mya as much as I could, however I haven't seen nor spoken to Michael since that night. I would pick Mya up from his parent's and either drop her off with Lex or Liddy when it was time for her to go home...or drop her off at the barbershop while Michael was in the back and one of his boys would let him know once I was gone.

Mya still calls me mommy and even though I have tried correcting her multiple times, she never listened so...I just let her call me that until she was old enough to know the difference.

I would be lying if I said I didn't miss Michael because I truly did. It felt like we were teenagers again when we stopped talking and I moved...it was heartbreaking, but I refused to apologize to him anymore. If he wanted to hold on to this anger towards me, that was all on him.

Right now I was shopping for Mya, I was getting her some winter clothes and a few boots because Baltimore was so damn unpredictable when it came to the weather it was fucking ridiculous.

I was leaving out of the Children's Palace store and looked at the four big bags of clothes and boots from another store and sighed.

"I told myself I was going to just get a few things." I mumbled to myself and shook my head.

"Well you definitely lied to yourself." I looked up and saw Sterling standing in front of me and smiled.

"Hey you, we need to stop running into each other like this." I joked while trying to hug him the best I could with all the bags.

"Well I'm here with your boy and our friend Corey...he's actually doing what you are doing...but all he keep looking at is boys clothes." I shook my head at the idea and laughed because that's what he did when I saw him here last time.

"I can believe that-" I said while laughing at the thought again. Sterling took the bags from me and nodded towards the opposite direction.

"Hey he's only a few stores down, why don't we go tell him he's off the hook-" I shook my head and backed away.

"Uh no, we aren't on speaking terms and I don't want him to think I'm over stepping...even though I am, but whatever-" Sterling rolled his eyes and gave me a little glare.

"What is up with you two, how can best friends not be on speaking terms?"I bit down on my lip and played with one of my braids.

"Look, some shit has happened that...look I just can't face him right now okay?" Sterling's face softened when my voice cracked at the last part, but I sucked up my emotions the best I could.

"Bella he misses you-" He finally confessed and I closed my eyes to control myself.

"And I miss him-" I spoke lowly. Sterling stood in front of me and talked just as low while people were walking pass us.

"So stop this shit-" I huffed and shrugged. That wasn't as easy as he was making it out to be.

"He said some hurtful things okay...and I tried to fix it, but he won't let me so...I'm not going to be treated any kind of way. I back off from people when they do that...he knows that and he did it anyway so this is on him." I wiped a lone tear away and looked away. Sterling sighed and shook his head.