It's Whateva

Hurdles Part 1

Two weeks...that's how long it's been and even though that doesn't seem long, to me... it feels like a life time.

I haven't seen Michael face to face, but we have communicated through text messages and he has FacteTime me, but only for Mya and I to talk or for me to calm her down.

Khalid has been dropping and picking Mya up and it hurts...to not have Michael around after being use to waking up to not just him, but the both of them ...it's a feeling I don't wish on anyone.

Work has been stressful because everything irks my soul and found myself taking time off again because I just couldn't deal with people. Bruce has understood now that he knows I am pregnant and I do have the time...he gave me his normal "call me if you need me" speech and told me to take care of myself.

I have to force myself to eat because I for one don't have an appetite, but I know I have to eat for our child and two...everything just makes me sick!

I haven't talked to my family in who knows how long and they still don't know I'm pregnant. I had a few messages from my mom basically threatening me to call or swing by or it's my ass...but even her threats didn't effect me like Michael has.

It was Saturday evening and I knew Liddy was on his way to come get Mya so I was getting her stuff together. She was up in her room sleeping until he came.

My doorbell rung and I sighed while looking around for her other sock. I walked over to the door and opened it without looking and went back over to the couch and get on my knees to look under it.

"Give me a few minutes Liddy, I need to find Mya's sock...I swear she hides them from me on purpose-" I was talking while sitting up and huffing. I stood up and smacked my lips when my knot on the top of my head fell a bit to the side and pushed it back.

"Take your time." I turned around quickly at the voice and saw Michael standing by the door. I looked down at myself an wanted to kick myself. I was wearing one of his white t's some sweats and my hair was a mess.

"Hi..." I damn near whispered while he just nodded to me. I looked him over. He had on dark jeans and a black sweater with red and white trim around the sleeves and neck. He looked so damn good, everything shaped up, his two small chains were showing...but his eyes. It was something about his eyes that looked off...He wouldn't make eye contact with me and it made my heart break more.

"You can sit down, Mya's upstairs sleep-" I pointed to the couch, but Michael shook his head and shut the door.

"That's fine, I'll just stand here." I bit down on my lip and nodded my head before turning to go to my steps. I think I took two steps before I turned back around to face him.

"You know...I get it...I get completely how you felt all those years ago-" Michael closed his eyes and sighed.

"Bella please, I don't-" I held my hands up and sniffed a bit before I started talking again.

"No...I'm not trying to pick a fight...honestly I don't have any fight left right now...I just want to say I know how it feels...to feel alone. Not being able to get your thoughts out...being misunderstood. Not having your best friend there for you...I now know how that feels." The annoyed expression on Michael's face slowly relaxed and he just watched me while I played with my nails.

"Only I feel...what I'm going through is...worse...see...back then I left without letting you talk...and I was wrong for that. I was so damn wrong for that, it was unfair to not get your side... I was just so pissed at you because I finally came to terms with the fact that I really did love you back then and...to hear you and Bianca...I felt betrayed, my heart broke when I heard the news and I wanting nothing to do with you after that. So I did what I knew would work for me...what always works for me. I shut down. I ignored you and when it was time...I left." A tear slipped down, but I quickly wiped it away.