Bad to Worse[S2:E13]

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| March 29 | Thursday Afternoon |

~ Sam's POV ~

The Florida sun scorched my shoulders as I helped Tony and Shawn unload the car. The smell of sunscreen and salt water soothed my senses, but surely didn't cool me down. How did people in the south manage?

We had decided on our last day we would drive out to this little secluded beach Shawn's boss had told him about, and so far, there were only a handful of people in sight. I was excited to spend the day with everyone considering Shawn had worked most of the week. Plus, I wanted to pick his brain.

Shawn started pushing an umbrella into the sand as I laid out towels, glancing over my shoulder to see Megan and Blair at the edge of the water.

"Can I ask you something?" I said aloud, grabbing my brother's attention.

"Sure."

I stood straight. "Marrying Casey doesn't scare you at all?"

He secured the umbrella and looked at me. "No. Why?"

"Just wondering," I lied.

"Sam."

He knew there was more to my question, but if my brother wasn't scared of commitment, then why was I?

"I want to marry Megan," I admitted.

For some reason, Shawn didn't seem surprised.

"Okay?" he replied. "And does that bother you?"

"Not really?" I answered.

"So, what's the deal?" He fished for a beer in the cooler. "Are you afraid she'll come to her senses at the altar?"

I rolled my eyes at his joke, laughing along as I accepted a beer from him. This past week Megan and I had done a lot of reflecting on our lives, and I had slowly begun to picture my life with her, long-term.

"I think the reason I could never picture forever with someone before is because I never thought I would make it past twenty-one," I admitted. "Marriage and kids were never a thought because I figured I'd never get there."

Shawn's expression softened.

"And now, here I am, twenty-one and in love with someone who makes me want to live as long as possible," I finished. "It's never made sense to me up until now."

Shawn leaned back on one arm and studied me. There was something he wanted to say, and I hoped he said it, but it looked intense.

"I never got to tell you this before I moved, but I think I need to now," Shawn said. "Sam, you deserve a long and happy life, and I can promise Megan will give that to you."

I just looked at him.

"You've been through a lot. With mom and dad, with your depression, and just... you've come a long way, and most of it is because you fell in love." He sat up. "She makes you want to be a better person, and I've never seen either of you as happy as you two are together."

There was a lull in his monologue, but I waited for him to find his hook.

"Bottom line is: there's nothing to be afraid of," he continued. "A lot of things in life are gray, and a lot of things are complicated..." He sipped his beer. "But you and Megan... the love you two have for each other... it's for real. Marrying her is only gonna make it better."

Hearing my brother say that allowed the heaviness in my chest subside. Shawn wasn't a bullshitter, and if he knew something wasn't right, he would tell you. Hell, he's warned me before all my previous bad decisions because he knew I was full of it.

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