Season 4: Episode 18

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| July 8 | Monday Morning |

~ Sam's POV ~

Today was the day of our meeting with Ava and her social worker. I was nervous, but it was good to be nervous about these types of things, right? I mean, our lives could possibly change forever after today. Despite the nerves, I wasn't scared or filled with anxiety. Other than the intense wanting to impress the social worker and Ava herself.

"Should I hold out on the coffee this morning?" Megan asks. "Is your anxiety really bad right now?"

"No." I shake my head. "I'm okay."

"You sure?"

"Positive."

I accept my cup of coffee and join Megan on the couch. We sit in silence for a moment, coming to terms with the fact that Ava might very well become part of our family if all went well today. It was a surreal feeling to Megan, I'm sure. The stress she had been feeling over it all had really eaten her up on the inside over the past few weeks.

"What if after all this we still don't get approved?" she wonders.

I look at her and try to keep my expression calm. After years of her being the one to talk me down when I got too deep in my head, it felt nice that I could do the same for her now that she was having a hard time.

"You realize that's very unlikely, right?" I ask. "I mean, as soon as Ava sees that it's us, she's not gonna wanna leave."

I watch Megan take a deep breathe.

"You know we've overcome all the obstacles," I reassure. "This is just the final stretch of the race."

"How are you so calm about this?"

I shrug. "It's easier when only one of us is having a panic attack."

This gets her to laugh and loosen up a bit. Megan sips her coffee and nods to herself, probably taking what I've said into consideration because it makes a whole lotta sense. There was no more reason to be nervous. We were going to do great today, by default, and Megan would realize she was worrying herself into oblivion for absolutely nothing.

"It's just so hard to believe that this is actually happening," she expresses.

"I know," I agree. "Maybe that's why I'm so calm, because really I'm in shock."

"Are we actually ready for this?"

We look at each other and I can tell Megan is doubting everything she's capable of and it hurts my heart. Anxiety really is a bitch, but instead of making her feel crazy, I set my coffee cup down and look at her.

"Probably not," I say. "Who the hell is ever ready to push aside their own needs for another? I mean, most people are never truly ready for a child." Megan stares at me. "But it doesn't matter, because every time we thought we weren't ready for something and it happened anyway, we adapted. We figured out how to be ready, in the moment, and you and I are a great team, Megan."

I didn't think anything I said was spectacular, but Megan seems speechless after it, which freaks me out. There's still a little hint of anxiety and panic on her face, so I inch closer to her on the couch.

"You are the most selfless person I've ever met," I continue. "Half the time, I don't even have to tell you what I need, because you already know, and you do it without hesitation. You're a good person, a good friend, a good daughter, and a good wife. So, there's no reason to believe you won't be a good mom."

When I finish, Megan's blue eyes stare at me with this expression that makes me smile. I can tell she needed that, like really needed it, and she sets her coffee cup down and falls into me. Her kiss is full of love and at first, I'm caught off guard, but show my appreciation with reciprocation.

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