The Everyday Adventures of Sam and Megan (GirlxGirl)

Season 4: Episode 1

~ A few months later ~

| March 18th | Monday Afternoon |

~ Sam's POV ~

As I admired the new couch in Dr. Dupree's office by bouncing two or three times, she proceeds to close her office door then join me in sitting.

"This couch is nice," I complimented. "Definitely comfier than the last."

"Glad you like it," she joked while crossing her legs. "You did help me buy it, after all."

"Ha." I gave her a smile. "That's funny."

"How've things been since our last session?" Dr. Dupree wondered. "Anything you feel like talking about today?"

There were many things, actually. I didn't know where to start. No, wait. On second thought, yes, I did. I would start with the thing that I couldn't stop thinking about over the last two weeks. The thing that still worried me, but thankfully no longer made me freeze up with fear.

"Megan brought up the foster licensure training classes again," I admitted. "I'm just... I don't know. I don't know if I want to do this yet or not."

"Why is that?"

"Because..." I paused. "I mean, I know she wants to possibly foster this little girl that's in her class, but that little girl is already in a home. So, we talked about adopting her, but she's ineligible."

"But you've both agreed you'd both like to foster eventually, correct?"

"Well, yeah, but it was supposed to be for Ava," I continued. "Because it seemed urgent, but there's no way we'd even get custody."

"Yet, getting licensed wouldn't hurt, now would it?" Dr. Dupree asked.

"No, I guess not."

"For possibly the near future?"

I refused to answer. She never took my side. She always just sat there and challenged my pre-existing thoughts. And yes, I know that's what I paid her to do, but I just wanted someone to agree with me!

She leaned forward.

"Are you having doubts?"

"Of course, I am," I finally admitted.

"Well, then let's talk about them."

I leaned back into the couch and pouted, knowing today wouldn't be easy. Things had gotten much better. I felt better. I communicated better. I understood how to convey and manage most of my emotions. Of course, my good days significantly outweighed my bad now, but I still had some things to work on. It was a constant battle, but the training wheels were nearly off.

"I just don't see why Megan thinks I would be a good caretaker." I sighed. "I really don't."

"Yet, you agreed to eventually raise children with her," Dr. Dupree observed. "Why would you agree to raising children with her if you don't see what she seems to see?"

I sat and pondered.

"Well, because I think I do want children, eventually. I think."

"What do you think would make you a bad parent?"

"I'm not really maternal," I said. "I don't really know how to talk to kids, but not because I don't like talking to them, I just, don't baby them. You know?"

As I ranted, my therapist scribbled viciously in her notepad.

"I think I'm too selfish to be a parent. I like my alone time. I like doing whatever I want, whenever I want. I like having money in savings. I like my car. I mean, I'll eventually have to sell my car, right?"