K L A N C E D // Klance One-shots

poop story i wrote while pooping

Keith looked at his clock as he huffed out a short breath.

He sighed. He knew he shouldn't had eaten two massive burritos but they were on a discount on buy one get one free. It would be a shame to waste on it. The burrito was delicious and life was good until he finished everything on the plate and his stomach started hurting in so many different places.

So now he was on the toilet, waiting for his shit to come out.

Why was it taking so long? He had eaten enough so that the food would push his last night's meal out? Wasn't that how science worked? He didn't know. He dropped out of school due to anger management issues.

"You've been here a long time," a voice from the stall beside him said suddenly.

Keith stopped.

Then he replied, "Uh, yeah." Great. Smart answer, Keith. You sound like you're trying to be cool about your fucking constipation.

"Was it the burritos?"

"Yeah," Keith replied.

"Same."

Keith nodded to himself. "It was a goodass burrito though."

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

There was a pause, then Keith heard the boy snort softly before saying, "Yeah." Keith couldn't help but smile and laugh with that and said, "Yeah."

They went back and forth saying Yeah to each other like a bunch of kids, laughing and snorting in between. It was stupid, Keith thought, but it was fun and it took his mind off his stomach pain.

After a while the giggling calmed down and they both fell into silence again.

"So..," the boy said, "What's your name?"

"Keith."

"Nice," he replied, "Mine's Lance."

"Lance," Keith said to himself.

"Yep."

"Cool."

Then they burst into another fit of giggles.

"You're really funny, Lance. You know that?"

Lance snorted loudly. "Pfft. Honesty I'm just bored of sitting on this goddamn toilet for so long. Seriously, you're the first person who actually responds to me instead of telling me to shut the fuck up."

"That's something I would say."

"Then why didn't you?"

"Cause I'm bored too."

Another fit of giggles.

Maybe they were having a hard time to poop because they kept giggling to themselves. Maybe that was it.

"How's your poop?"

"Great. An inch out."

"Wow. Great progress."

Keith laughed, "Shit, bro. You should give me your number so that I can call you whenever I'm bored in the toilet." He said it as a joke but he didn't expect Lance to put his phone under the toilet walls between them.

"Just save your number, dude."

Keith took it and typed his number in and gave it back to Lance.

"Wait! Wait! I think it's coming out!" Lance shouted suddenly.

"Wait- seriously?"

"I think- I think..."

Then it was quiet. And Keith held his breath (and most probably his poop too).

Then he heard a soft ploop.

"Oh my god! It's finally out! 2 kg of beef, cheese, and whatever was inside that burrito is finally out of my system!"

"Uh, I don't think it works like that."

"Dude, you're still on the way?"

Keith sighed, "Yeah. Not even on the way. Mine hasn't even left yet."

"Just think of.. sliding."

"How does that help?"

"Cause.. I don't know. It's smooth?"

"That's so stup- OH MY GOD IT WORKS. ITS COMING OUT. OH MY GOD OH MYGOD-"

another ploop.

"OH MY GOD ITS OUT ITS OUT ITS OUT."

"Hey, Keith. You wanna split another burrito?"